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Journeyman
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Journeyman
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Marionette This is a song I wrote a few weeks ago when I did the 5 songs in 5 days songwriting challenge. I believe this was day one's song. I went back yesterday and today to work on the mix and attempted to use the slapback delay trick that has been posted in the Recording, Mixing, Performance and Production forum on my vocals. It seems to have helped but I think I still need to work on it some. Real Tracks: 2580:Bass, Synth, RnB Modern Sub 665:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Southern Rock 2293:Horn Section, Rhythm Pop Pads Loop:Acoustic Drum Full Kit\Reggeaton - Reggeaton 100 Breakdown Real Drums:RnB Modern Ev 16 I also used Xpand to add the tambourine. There are way to many effects to even try to list but they include ones built into Cubase 9 (which is the DAW that I use to do all of my final mixing and record vocals) MAudio plugins, Softube, Final Mix plugins and a variety of reverbs and delays in different FX sends. Though this was not created for the #Hot100 Challenge that I posted in the Songwriting forum I feel this gives a good example of modern sounding songs that can be created using BIAB. Lyrics: (V.1) You think I’m fragile Like a little paper doll. But give it to me straight Don’t just try to brush it off. (Pre-chorus) Please, please… don’t beat around the bush I want to know the truth even if it hurts. (Chorus) I Don’t want to be your marionette no more. Set me free. Just go and cut the chord. (V.2) Your words are tangled. Can’t keep your lies in place. Better wipe that crooked smile off You’ve drawn upon your face. (Pre-chorus) Please, please , please don’t beat around the bush I want to know the truth even if it hurts. (Chorus) I Don’t want to be your marionette no more. Just set me free. Go and cut the chord. (Bridge) How’s it feel now? You’re losing all control. I’m cutting all the strings And falling to the floor. (Chorus) I Don’t want to be your marionette no more. Set me free. Just go and cut the chord.
Last edited by Samuel Davis; 05/03/18 09:31 PM.
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Samuel,
Excellent song. Great vocal and love the rhythm & propulsion of the song.
Bob
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Samuel,
You are doing a good job of "heading in the right direction" to "get that sound".
This is a strong write - a "love song" (or breakup song which is still a love song) with an obvious subtext...
The drums are cool. Gives this a unique flavor similar to a Paul Simon song. A nice alternative to the typical hip-hop type beats sound. The arrangement is good. I thought the acoustic guitar needed to be brighter and a bit louder.
I can't speak for HTL (I hope he weighs in here and set me straight if I am wrong), but I think one of his main issues with the attempts to "sound modern" is that no one is getting the vocals where they need to be (there's other stuff, too, but that is a main thing). That will always be a hard nut since - as Charlie says - we do not have the megabucks equipment that the big studios do. On this, (to my ears) the vocal seems "apart" from the rest of the mix. Kind of "on top" instead of "part of". The vocal needs to "pop", but not stand outside of the mix. A fine line - and a tough one, admittedly. Your vocals are always good (well sung). With the right processing, they should be able to sit where they belong. I don't think they are doing that here.
I do like the song. A lot.
fj
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Loved the drums on this tune. Super vocal and lyric. Excellent backtrack.. Well done
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Nice work Sam. To me the acoustic guitar seems a little lack luster. But that just me. Great sound. Rob
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Nice dance pop song, I like the kicking dance rhythm, the melody and lyrics have clear hit potential.
Janne
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Enthusiast
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I like this a lot. Very engaging, the first few bars made me want to listen to the end. Great vibe throughout. Nice job!
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Cool stuff Sam. Enjoyed it.
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Sam,
Very good write - the theme familiar, but your take is original.
I listened to the propulsion of the acoustic guitar and wondered why it didn`t pop out in the mix to really drive the song... then read your intention on creating a modern sound and understood.
Love your vocals - they are always so strong; would be interested in hearing the rawness of the song in a more trad. package, probably due to my background.
Keep `em coming!
Robert
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Hey Samuel, I think this is a very strong and powerful song. Very worthy material. I have some production/mixing ideas, but it would take too long in a post. Maybe we can talk about it on the phone or something.  Great song though man!!
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I agree with the others. The song is strong, well written and performed. I hope you push forward taking this one to the next level. Enjoyed my listen.
BIAB 2026:RB 2026, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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@ Floyd Floyd, I think getting good vocals outside of a professional studio is possible but it takes a lot of work. As John Mayer famously put it, "I can play guitar in my sleep, but vocals are a b....." I think that about says it. I know mine are far from perfect, but I have learned a lot from you and others here in three years. For one, just as you advised me to double or triple the drums, I at least triple if not quadruple the main vox and use different effects on each track. I probably spend more time on the vox than anything else and I use a mic stand shield to trap as much of the sound as I can. Then, I have found, you really have to "ride that fader" when the music goes up and down to keep the vocals in that sweet spot. By thumbnail, I set the main volume of the mix, give myself some headroom, and make sure the vocal stays a good 1.5 or 2dB above the mix. It is really hard. It has taken me many years just to figure out which effects work best where. Yeah, vocals are a beast. We all just have to buckle down and keep studying them I guess.
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Very nice song.
this is your best for me.
Great acoustic rock song.
Very well done.
Sergio
Sergio
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Samuel
I enjoyed that. Nice arrangement, good composition and well performed.
Peter
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Very impressive, Samuel! I don't think there's anything I can add here that hasn't already been said. This displays a very strong sense of understanding in terms of songwriting. It sounds heart-wrenchingly sincere, and very honest. For me too - I loved that you chose off-kilter percussion on this one. It really added a unique dynamic and made it stand out amongst the crop, personally. Great work - thanks so much for sharing
Cheers,
Deryk
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About the only time I hear songs of this style is when I listen to what folks are uploading to Songtradr and the examples they offer for the music wanted section. All meaning I'm not well equipped to comment (other than brief exposure on a recent collab ). I agree with fj the drums are indeed a nice alternative to what is typical - at least from what I hear at ST. I'm NOT denigrating the style or your endeavor...just being transparent in that I'm inexperienced! The write is very strong. Love the hook. You are assuredly on the current wave...we're drifting in the backwash J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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