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Dave,

This is so strong—so much going on here that works so well. The first verse is exceptional, the melody to the verses is near perfect. If I were to nit-pick, in that second verse the “kill or be killed” line doesn’t quite resonate--maybe a bit too harsh-- nor “urge to deceive”—but’s that’s just my take. It may be an opportunity to tweak, or not. Use or lose.

The chorus is solid; lyrically killer and the phrasing is sweet. That said, it didn’t quite strike me as a chorus musically. Not sure how to express it, but it didn’t take me “up”. Kinda felt more like a bridge.

All that aside, this is a very impressive use of BIAB. Love the intro and the leads throughout—very crisp; really nice sound. You're killing in that regard.

Sweet tune, Dave—enjoyed it.

All the best,

Deej

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Dave,

A cool, dark story. The song has a terrific pace.

Very nice production and a good mix.

As David noted - the stop at the end is really nice...

You are putting the BAND to good use!

fj


Thank you Floyd,

I appreciate the listen and your help finding my way around

Dave

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Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Dave,

Very dramatic story,well told, sung and produced.
Noel already highlighted the first verse which is terrific ( and in some ways as much the centre of the song as the chorus).
Excellent!

Robert


Thank you very much Robert. I appreciate the listen and the comments.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: RnAM
Hi David,

This is a most fascinating song.
We like every part of it. The music (also the "nameless" mandolins :D), your vocals, the lyrics.
It immediately captivated us.
Great song!

Rob and Anne-Marie


Thank you for the listen and comments Rob and Ann-Marie. They are greatly appreciated.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Man, what a great song!

One of the best songs I have ever heard on this site actually, excellent write and performance.

Well done!


Thank you much for your comments. They are greatly appreciated I am glad you enjoyed it.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: Scott C
+1 on what Noel said. Very cool vocal. Super backtrack. The picking on the acoustic was really cool. Well done..


Thank you much Scott. I appreciate you giving this a listen and commenting.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: MarioD
WOW this is a great story and well as a great mix, vocal and lyrics.

Your groove is super.

I really liked this!


Thx much Mario. I appreciate you giving this a spin!

Dave

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Yes, a really fine story (very heavy) told in a gripping fashion!! Great emotion, prosody, and the perfect arrangement and tempo to drive it. Excellent job Moz!! Take care. Greg

P.S. It reminds me a bit of the boss's Tom Joad CD which I imagine you know judging by your handle.

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Originally Posted By: dani48
Hi, David !:))

Echoeing what others have already
said this is phenomenal in every
aspect ! I´m in awe yes I am !

Congrats to this masterpiece of yours !

Cheers
Dani


Thank you much Dani for the listen and oomments they are greatly appreciated.

Dave

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Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Yes, a really fine story (very heavy) told in a gripping fashion!! Great emotion, prosody, and the perfect arrangement and tempo to drive it. Excellent job Moz!! Take care. Greg

P.S. It reminds me a bit of the boss's Tom Joad CD which I imagine you know judging by your handle.


Greg,

As you may have guessed from my screen name, Springsteen is my musical idol. ghost of Tom Joad is a classic in my book. Thx for the listen and comments. Much appreciated.

Dave

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It's interesting that Deryk mentioned the Highway Men. It does have that feel...a good thing. But we like you vocals better!

"I was born in the badlands
Trained by the belt and a cold steel fist"

And the write is obviously very dark but so well done.

The mellow mandolin makes for an effective contrast with the ominous tone.

And the production and the soundstage set by it sounds excellent on our monitors.

J&B


Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more.
If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
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