Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
Page 4 of 4 1 2 3 4
Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 280
H
Apprentice
Offline
Apprentice
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 280
Quote:

Happy,

I've never thought wife beater jokes were funny. But ever since I was a little boy I've thought it was funny when a guy got his butt kicked by a girl. Even if she used a 9 iron, blow dryer or a frying pan.

Bob




Yeah, and when men have to pay alimony and child support but never get to see their kids, that's just hilarious!

And when a women kills her husband in his sleep, then gets off on a "self-defense" plea - that just cracks you up too I bet!


Like the man said, "ain't that a kick in the head!"
Off-Topic
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,333
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,333
Been there done that. She took the kids 6 and 5 and I didn't see them for 3 years. I sent presents, birthdays, xmas. Sent back, refused. Then I resent by UPS, wrapped over the previous wrapping. Then Fed Ex over the UPS refusal.

At 11 and 12 years old finally I got to see them. Paid for plane tickets. Their Mom said I didn't love them so I sent no presents. I brought them out of the storage room and they unwrapped layer after layer where her handwriting said REFUSED.

She let me visit them in Sault Ste. Marie that year. Asked me what I was getting them. A video game. I arrived with it, 8 hour drive from hell. They unwrap it. Look at each other. "Mom sold the TV yesterday, said we couldn't afford it." I took them to the store and bought a TV too, and a stand, and installed it in their bedroom..

3 months later they called wanting plane tickets. A social worker told them they cold move in with me.

The court ordered her to pay me child support. They lived with me from the teen years until they got an apartment.

I think I loaded the XX guage and put it in the trunk 5 times. Drive 50 miles, come to my senses and come home.

She is an RN/head nurse, head case. I don't talk to her, despite her newfound desire to do so, due to the grandchild. Tough.

There is no level playing field. She took all my money, ran up credit cards, I slept in the Olds hotel for 2 weeks broke, no cash. The olds had a leather back seat, and I almost fit. Got paid on a Thursday morning, was at work, at 5 went to the bank, NOT a dime in either account, both credit cards maxed. Borrowed 50 bucks from a buddy.

I was her husband #1. She's on #5 now. #2 beat the kids and her. So did #3. I on the other hand pick up spiders and put them out doors. Once killed a bat with a tennis racket at work though!


John Conley
Musica est vita
Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 280
H
Apprentice
Offline
Apprentice
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 280
Quote:

Been there done that. She took the kids 6 and 5 and I didn't see them for 3 years. I sent presents, birthdays, xmas. Sent back, refused. Then I resent by UPS, wrapped over the previous wrapping. Then Fed Ex over the UPS refusal.

At 11 and 12 years old finally I got to see them. Paid for plane tickets. Their Mom said I didn't love them so I sent no presents. I brought them out of the storage room and they unwrapped layer after layer where her handwriting said REFUSED.

She let me visit them in Sault Ste. Marie that year. Asked me what I was getting them. A video game. I arrived with it, 8 hour drive from hell. They unwrap it. Look at each other. "Mom sold the TV yesterday, said we couldn't afford it." I took them to the store and bought a TV too, and a stand, and installed it in their bedroom..

3 months later they called wanting plane tickets. A social worker told them they cold move in with me.

The court ordered her to pay me child support. They lived with me from the teen years until they got an apartment.

I think I loaded the XX guage and put it in the trunk 5 times. Drive 50 miles, come to my senses and come home.

She is an RN/head nurse, head case. I don't talk to her, despite her newfound desire to do so, due to the grandchild. Tough.

There is no level playing field. She took all my money, ran up credit cards, I slept in the Olds hotel for 2 weeks broke, no cash. The olds had a leather back seat, and I almost fit. Got paid on a Thursday morning, was at work, at 5 went to the bank, NOT a dime in either account, both credit cards maxed. Borrowed 50 bucks from a buddy.

I was her husband #1. She's on #5 now. #2 beat the kids and her. So did #3. I on the other hand pick up spiders and put them out doors. Once killed a bat with a tennis racket at work though!




Man, that's terrible. But unfortunately I've heard many simliar stories.

Only one positive thing about it - you have a RIGHT to play the Blues!


Like the man said, "ain't that a kick in the head!"
Off-Topic
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Happy,

Quote:

Yeah, and when men have to pay alimony and child support but never get to see their kids, that's just hilarious!

And when a women kills her husband in his sleep, then gets off on a "self-defense" plea - that just cracks you up too I bet!






No that doesn't crack me up Happy. I just lost my home last year in a divorce, a lot of which I built with my own 2 hands, all of which I paid for because she stayed home the whole time, she didn't take care of the house, she rarely cooked, and she spent most her time on the couch asleep, plus threatened to kill me a few times, plus I had to pay alimony in the divorce.

The good thing is now she's gone and my wonderful son lives with me.

After that I met someone who turned out to be a real head case, assaulted me, and then she got thrown in jail for assault.

So for goodness sake, stop acting like I don't care about women assaulting men. It's ridiculous!

The jokes about Tiger are going to be around for awhile, not just here, but on every late night comedians show for the foreseeable future. He's up to mistress number 9 now, one of whom said he liked it "rough" and liked to "pull her hair" while he was "doing" her in the SUV on a church parking lot in Orlando. One of the tabloids got pictures of it in action and Tiger bought them off by agreeing to appear on a sister publications cover, (Men's Fitness), and doing an interview about golf! This was in 2007, when Elin was pregnant or had just delivered their first child. What a pig!

Bob

Last edited by bobcflatpicker; 12/09/09 01:14 AM.
Off-Topic
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,296
G
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
G
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,296
John:

After all that and you still have a sense of humour? Amazing.

Glenn

Off-Topic
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,333
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,333
Unless I see her. Before I retired they realized the Fire Department was 800 building permit clearances behind, and gave me 2 special projects and assistants. I'm sitting in a huge 400 store mall, (I have always hated malls) with a couple of summer students and we are writing off permits. Some rotund unkempt grey haired overweight woman with a fat bald guy looks at me and says, "Imagine that you in a mall".

I look at the kids they look at me, and I shrug. Say something like "Everyone knows I hate malls, the whole freaking world." That evening something is bugging me so I phone my son who lives a few miles away and ask him what's new. "Mom says she saw you in the mall!"

Well my wife of 25 years is petite, still turns heads, and is a great musician. Can't cook but hey I can.

I realized a long time ago that you can make things better, just do it.


John Conley
Musica est vita
Off-Topic
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 280
H
Apprentice
Offline
Apprentice
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 280
Quote:

Happy,

Quote:

Yeah, and when men have to pay alimony and child support but never get to see their kids, that's just hilarious!

And when a women kills her husband in his sleep, then gets off on a "self-defense" plea - that just cracks you up too I bet!






No that doesn't crack me up Happy. I just lost my home last year in a divorce, a lot of which I built with my own 2 hands, all of which I paid for because she stayed home the whole time, she didn't take care of the house, she rarely cooked, and she spent most her time on the couch asleep, plus threatened to kill me a few times, plus I had to pay alimony in the divorce.

The good thing is now she's gone and my wonderful son lives with me.

After that I met someone who turned out to be a real head case, assaulted me, and then she got thrown in jail for assault.

So for goodness sake, stop acting like I don't care about women assaulting men. It's ridiculous!

The jokes about Tiger are going to be around for awhile, not just here, but on every late night comedians show for the foreseeable future. He's up to mistress number 9 now, one of whom said he liked it "rough" and liked to "pull her hair" while he was "doing" her in the SUV on a church parking lot in Orlando. One of the tabloids got pictures of it in action and Tiger bought them off by agreeing to appear on a sister publications cover, (Men's Fitness), and doing an interview about golf! This was in 2007, when Elin was pregnant or had just delivered their first child. What a pig!

Bob




Think I'll post a pic of Nicole Simpson after OJ cut her to pieces. Bet THAT would be funny!!!!!!

Maybe if Tiger were white it wouldn't be so funny.


Like the man said, "ain't that a kick in the head!"
Off-Topic
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
HappyT,

Quote:

Think I'll post a pic of Nicole Simpson after OJ cut her to pieces. Bet THAT would be funny!!!!!!

Maybe if Tiger were white it wouldn't be so funny.




Every post you've made on this topic has been more ridiculous and self degrading than your previous ones. How are you going to top ,(or should I say lower), yourself now? You've gone from assault to murder to threatening to put up pics of a woman with her throat cut! How much lower can you go? All of this this on a post that started out with a link to a comedy clip! Oh, the tangled webs we weave.

Tiger's problems have nothing to do with his race. They are because of him literally asking to be a role model and then acting like a total a** and who**monger and treating his family like they are dirt.

You obviously have issues of your own. They have nothing to do with Tiger, me, or anyone else that has posted jokes on this thread.

I've tried to let this thread "die", simply because of the posts YOU were making. But your last post was SICK and malicious! I couldn't just let it "slide".

If you want this thread to go away, then here are a few tips:

1. Stop reading it.

2. Stop putting increasingly sick and self degrading comments on it.


Bob

Last edited by bobcflatpicker; 12/11/09 04:32 AM.
Off-Topic
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Here's a funny YouTube music video.

Tiger Woods Voicemail Slow Jam Remix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEkomaBTppY&feature=player_embedded

Off-Topic
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,251
Goodness gracious. Sex tapes and nude photos? Tiger petitioned a British court and they ruled that the tapes and photos can’t be shown in Britain.

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5B...=22&sp=true

And several orgies with 10-15 girls at a time!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2768606/Madam-claims-Tiger-Woods-paid-for-escorts.html

And now he’s announced he’s taking an “indefinite” time off from golf. At least he finally used the word “infidelity” instead of “transgressions”.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB126057561027788099.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_MIDDLTopStories

Plus, according to several mistresses, he refused to use protection when he was with them. Even while he was sleeping with porn stars!

I really feel sorry for Elin and her kids. I just hope he hasn’t given Elin something that will change or end her life.

What a piece of sh*t!

It’s not going to take long for the sponsors to start dropping him like a hot potato.

And on a lighter note:

Billy Dee Williams Tiger Woods Collectible Plates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgiCX_y1BW8

Bob

Last edited by bobcflatpicker; 12/11/09 07:56 PM.
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To
Page 4 of 4 1 2 3 4

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
Mac 2025 Special Upgrade Offers Extended Until August 15th!

It's not too late to upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® and save! We've extended our special until August 15, 2025!

We've added many major new features to Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®, including advanced AI tools like the amazing BB Stem Splitter and AI Lyrics Generator, as well as VST3 plugin support, and Equalize Temp. Plus, there’s a new one-stop MIDI Patches Picker with over 1,100 MIDI patches to choose from, all neatly categorized by GM numbers. The MultiPicker Library is enhanced with tabs for the SongPicker, MIDI Patch Picker, Chord Builder, AI Lyrics Generator, and Song Titles Browser, and the tabs are organized into logical groups. The Audiophile Edition is enhanced with FLAC files , which are 60% smaller than AIFF files while maintaining identical audio quality, and now ships on a fast 1TB SSD, and much more!

Check out all the new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® here:

Purchase your Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac during our special to save up to 50% off your upgrade purchase and receive a FREE BONUS PAK of amazing new Add-ons. These include the 2025 RealCombos Booster PAK, Look Ma! More MIDI 13: Country & Americana, Instrumental Studies Set 22: 2-Hand Piano Soloing - Rhythm Changes, MIDI SuperTracks Set 44: Jazz Piano, Artist Performance Set 17: Songs with Vocals 7, Playable RealTracks Set 4, RealDrums Stems Set 7: Jazz with Mike Clark, and more!

Upgrade to the 2025 49-PAK for just $49 and add 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and 20 RealStyles, FLAC Files for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks, Look Ma! More MIDI 14: SynthMaster, MIDI SuperTracks Set 45: More SynthMaster, Artist Performance Set 18: Songs with Vocals 8, and RealDrums Stems Set 8: Pop, Funk & More with Jerry Roe.
Learn more about the Bonus PAKs!

New RealTracks Released with Band-in-a-Box 2025!

We’ve expanded the Band-in-a-Box® RealTracks library with 202 incredible new RealTracks (in sets 449-467) across Jazz, Blues, Funk, World, Pop, Rock, Country, Americana, and Praise & Worship—featuring your most requested styles!

Jazz, Blues & World (Sets 449–455):
These RealTracks includes “Soul Jazz” with Neil Swainson (bass), Mike Clark (drums), Charles Treadway (organ), Miles Black (piano), and Brent Mason (guitar). Enjoy “Requested ’60s” jazz, classic acoustic blues with Colin Linden, and more of our popular 2-handed piano soloing. Plus, a RealTracks first—Tango with bandoneon, recorded in Argentina!

Rock & Pop (Sets 456–461):
This collection includes Disco, slap bass ‘70s/‘80s pop, modern and ‘80s metal with Andy Wood, and a unique “Songwriter Potpourri” featuring Chinese folk instruments, piano, banjo, and more. You’ll also find a muted electric guitar style (a RealTracks first!) and “Producer Layered Guitar” styles for slick "produced" sound.

Country, Americana & Praise (Sets 462–467):
We’ve added new RealTracks across bro country, Americana, praise & worship, vintage country, and songwriter piano. Highlights include Brent Mason (electric guitar), Eddie Bayers (drums), Doug Jernigan (pedal steel), John Jarvis (piano), Glen Duncan (banjo, mandolin & fiddle), Mike Harrison (electric bass) and more—offering everything from modern sounds to heartfelt Americana styles

Check out all the 202 New RealTracks (in sets 456-467)

And, if you are looking for more, the 2025 49-PAK (for $49) includes an additional 20 RealTracks with exciting new sounds and genre-spanning styles. Enjoy RealTracks firsts like Chinese instruments (guzheng & dizi), the bandoneon in an authentic Argentine tango trio, and the classic “tic-tac” baritone guitar for vintage country.

You’ll also get slick ’80s metal guitar from Andy Wood, modern metal with guitarist Nico Santora, bass player Nick Schendzielos, and drummer Aaron Stechauner, more praise & worship, indie-folk, modern/bro country with Brent Mason, and “Songwriter Americana” with Johnny Hiland.

Plus, enjoy user-requested styles like Soul Jazz RealDrums, fast Celtic Strathspey guitar, and Chill Hop piano & drums!

The 2025 49-PAK is loaded with other great new add-ons as well. Learn more about the 2025 49-PAK!

Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Mac!

With your version 2025 for Mac Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition or PlusPAK purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons FREE! Or upgrade to the 2025 49-PAK for only $49 to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks!

These PAKs are loaded with additional add-ons to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box®!

This Free Bonus PAK includes:

  • The 2025 RealCombos Booster PAK: -For Pro customers, this includes 33 new RealTracks and 65+ new RealStyles. -For MegaPAK customers, this includes 29 new RealTracks and 45+ new RealStyles. -For UltraPAK customers, this includes 20 new RealStyles.
  • Look Ma! More MIDI 13: Country & Americana
  • Instrumental Studies Set 22: 2-Hand Piano Soloing - Rhythm Changes
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 44: Jazz Piano
  • Artist Performance Set 17: Songs with Vocals 7
  • Playable RealTracks Set 4
  • RealDrums Stems Set 7: Jazz with Mike Clark
  • SynthMaster Sounds and Styles (with audio demos)
  • 128 GM MIDI Patch Audio Demos.

Looking for more great add-ons, then upgrade to the 2025 49-PAK for just $49 and you'll get:

  • 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums with 20 RealStyles,
  • FLAC Files (lossless audio files) for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums
  • Look Ma! More MIDI 14: SynthMaster,
  • Instrumental Studies Set 23: More '80s Hard Rock Soloing,
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 45: More SynthMaster
  • Artist Performance Set 18: Songs with Vocals 8
  • RealDrums Stems Set 8: Pop, Funk & More with Jerry Roe

Learn more about the Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®!

New! Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher for Mac!

Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!

We're excited to bring you our latest and greatest in the all new Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box! This fresh installment is packed with 200 all-new styles spanning the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres you've come to expect, as well as the exciting inclusion of electronic styles!

In this PAK you’ll discover: Minimalist Modern Funk, New Wave Synth Pop, Hard Bop Latin Groove, Gospel Country Shuffle, Cinematic Synthwave, '60s Motown, Funky Lo-Fi Bossa, Heavy 1980s Metal, Soft Muted 12-8 Folk, J-Pop Jazz Fusion, and many more!

All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 20 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 209 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 20.

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 20 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 20 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

New! XPro Styles PAK 9 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and higher for Mac!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 9 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 29 RealTracks/RealDrums!

We've been hard at it to bring you the latest and greatest in this 9th installment of our popular XPro Styles PAK series! Included are 75 styles spanning the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres (25 styles each) that fans have come to expect, as well as 25 styles in this volume's wildcard genre: funk & R&B!

If you're itching to get a sneak peek at what's included in XPro Styles PAK 9, here is a small helping of what you can look forward to: Funky R&B Horns, Upbeat Celtic Rock, Jazz Fusion Salsa, Gentle Indie Folk, Cool '60s Soul, Funky '70s R&B, Smooth Jazz Hip Hop, Acoustic Rockabilly Swing, Funky Reggae Dub, Dreamy Retro Latin Jazz, Retro Soul-Rock Fusion, and much more!

Special Pricing! Until July 31, 2024, all the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 9 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Video: XPro Styles PAK 9 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

New! Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher for Windows!

Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!

We're excited to bring you our latest and greatest in the all new Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box! This fresh installment is packed with 200 all-new styles spanning the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres you've come to expect, as well as the exciting inclusion of electronic styles!

In this PAK you’ll discover: Minimalist Modern Funk, New Wave Synth Pop, Hard Bop Latin Groove, Gospel Country Shuffle, Cinematic Synthwave, '60s Motown, Funky Lo-Fi Bossa, Heavy 1980s Metal, Soft Muted 12-8 Folk, J-Pop Jazz Fusion, and many more!

All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 20 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 209 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 20.

Video: Xtra Styles PAK 20 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 20 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

New! XPro Styles PAK 9 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and higher for Windows!

We've just released XPro Styles PAK 9 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 29 RealTracks/RealDrums!

We've been hard at it to bring you the latest and greatest in this 9th installment of our popular XPro Styles PAK series! Included are 75 styles spanning the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres (25 styles each) that fans have come to expect, as well as 25 styles in this volume's wildcard genre: funk & R&B!

If you're itching to get a sneak peek at what's included in XPro Styles PAK 9, here is a small helping of what you can look forward to: Funky R&B Horns, Upbeat Celtic Rock, Jazz Fusion Salsa, Gentle Indie Folk, Cool '60s Soul, Funky '70s R&B, Smooth Jazz Hip Hop, Acoustic Rockabilly Swing, Funky Reggae Dub, Dreamy Retro Latin Jazz, Retro Soul-Rock Fusion, and much more!

Special Pricing! Until July 31, 2024, all the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 9 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!

Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.

Video: XPro Styles PAK 9 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!

XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

Forum Statistics
Forums58
Topics84,411
Posts778,897
Members39,650
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
Newest Members
Leviatin, RattyCathy, Parsinux, Mike McVay, misha pelt
39,650 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
MarioD 130
WaoBand 114
DC Ron 107
dcuny 87
rsdean 74
Today's Birthdays
There are no members with birthdays on this day.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5