|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737 |
Down in the One-Ply Holler I had to jump on the bandwagon (pardon the pun) and write my own Covid-19 song. This one is full of jocularity and was fun to create and record, and is here to make your housebound isolation more bearable. The melody is predictable. For those of you unfamiliar with Appalachia, a "holler" (hollow) is a small valley. So my title has two meanings. One is that the "holler" refers to the persona's domicile, and the other is that using too much one-ply TP might make you holler. (Back in the day as many of you may remember, we referred to this type of TP as John Wayne toilet paper: rough, tough, and doesn't take any sh*t from anybody.) For those who are of a delicate constitution, I assure that no children were harmed or imprisoned during the making of this song. I used the style CTRNRGS - Chicken Pickin' Country sans the resonator soloist and added a baritone guitar soloist and a bluegrass acoustic solist. RealBass 592 Bass, Acoustic RealDrums-NashTrain RealPiano 598 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming RealGuitar 411 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Train Pickin RT2501 Guitar, Baritone Electric, Soloist CountryWorkinBrent RT597 Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist Bluegrass Doc Lyrics I’ve binged watched every Netflix show Gonna give Amazon another look Clock on the wall moving much too slow I’ve read seven times ev’ry Harry Potter book I’m stuck here at home Endless meetings on the telephone Don’t think I’ll survive this caper With two rolls left of one-ply toilet paper My wife’s hair now has turned to gray My belly boasts 10 more pounds of lard I’m worn slap out, can’t last another day They’re gonna find my children buried in the backyard Chorus Zooming with the boss on the internet It’s 9 a.m. and I don’t care Wearing a shirt and tie is my best bet Nothing else on but faded holey underwear. Chorus Wylodine,
the gov’ner says we can go out
unlock them kids from their cages
And put on your britches
Gonna grab a root at Cracker Barrel
Who-eee, no more cans of Chef Boyardee Chorus
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,369
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,369 |
Hi Ezekiel,
That was simply inspired!
Well, what more can I say?
Full of social realism and hilarious throughout.
Can't stop singing the chorus after only one listen.
Going back for a second one.
Many thanks for making us laugh in these strange times.
ROG.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 5,185
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 5,185 |
Man, this is outstanding, Ezekiel. You speak for all of us. Trains had to blow the whistle through the holler, and, man, that's funny about John Wayne. Never heard that before. Now I gotta go hear this one again. Great lyrics!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737 |
Thanks, ROG. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737 |
Marty,
Thanks for the listen and comments!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,258
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,258 |
REALLY loved this one Ezekiel, great lyrics.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7,397
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7,397 |
Scott,
Absolutely amazing write! Shiny gemstone in the swamp of ongoing apathy.
Loved it! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 16,286
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 16,286 |
 Creative and funny. A great combo. Hey, we get the holler thing...we call the bottom area between two small ridges on our property a holler  We really enjoyed this...the write, your vocals, the RT usage and the mix. Great use of that solo RT too. J&B PS At least you're not down to Sears catalogs. If they still exist!
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! A few of our videos are here on our website: https://www.janiceandbud.com/our-music.html
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,497
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,497 |
Hi, Scott !
The first item that disappeared
from the stores over here in
Helsinki were toilet paper and
fortunately we had bought a
big bale much earlier so we
were out of the danger zone !
Funny how it was just TOILET PAPER
- made us think have or fellow Finns started
to EAT toilet paper ???
Well anyway, we can relate to your
absolutely superb lyrics and I´m sure
you must have had real fun putting
the tune together !
Hope you and your closest are safe
(and have enough toilet paper nowadays) !:))
Cheers
Dani
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,999
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,999 |
"Don’t think I’ll survive this caper
With two rolls left of one-ply toilet paper"
HA!
A clever write. An excellent BAND to back it up. And a good mix.
Fun. Entertaining. Nice to have a little levity regarding the current situation...
fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,369
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,369 |
Still laughing!
Sent a link to the whole family.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,335
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,335 |
Very Creative and very funny! I got a good laugh and we all can sure use that. Enjoyed very much, Tom
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Great fun- an outstanding write with a zinger in every verse.
I`m no expert, but for my dime you nailed the Appalachian references and accent!
Well done.
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,977
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,977 |
I LOL out loud!
This is a very creative write. You nailed that good ol' redneck sound! Loved it!
Life is short so make sure you spend as much time as possible on the Internet arguing with strangers.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 844
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 844 |
Great stuff Ezekiel.
Humorous, topical and inspired - a good happiness boost in these challenging times.
Mike
Mike Garry BIAB 2025/RealBand (5), UltraPak, Kontakt, EZmix, Ozone 9 Elements, Audacity, MSi PC, Windows 11, 64bit, 16GB ram, CPU: Intel i7. https://soundcloud.com/user-952388172
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 294
Apprentice
|
|
Apprentice
Joined: Oct 2019
Posts: 294 |
Funny little ditty, you put together.
Ha! a toilet paper song. Who would have thunk this a year ago?
Also, I speak Appalachian as my primary language and I'm still working on this "proper English" thing...
Thanks for posting your song.
Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,052 |
Funny stuff!! And, MAN, can I relate!! Nice job with the arrangement and the mix!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737 |
REALLY loved this one Ezekiel, great lyrics. Thanks, Graham! Scott,
Absolutely amazing write! Shiny gemstone in the swamp of ongoing apathy.
Loved it! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
Thank you for your kind assessment! Creative and funny. A great combo. Hey, we get the holler thing...we call the bottom area between two small ridges on our property a holler We really enjoyed this...the write, your vocals, the RT usage and the mix. Great use of that solo RT too. J&B PS At least you're not down to Sears catalogs. If they still exist! Sears Catalogs? We're using the neighborhood cats! Hi, Scott !
The first item that disappeared
from the stores over here in
Helsinki were toilet paper and
fortunately we had bought a
big bale much earlier so we
were out of the danger zone !
Funny how it was just TOILET PAPER
- made us think have or fellow Finns started
to EAT toilet paper ???
Well anyway, we can relate to your
absolutely superb lyrics and I´m sure
you must have had real fun putting
the tune together !
Hope you and your closest are safe
(and have enough toilet paper nowadays) !:))
Cheers
Dani Dani, all the toilet paper disappeared off the shelves here and is still difficult to obtain. Why on earth people would think they would need to stock up on toilet paper for a pandemic, I'll never figure that one out. Still laughing!
Sent a link to the whole family.
Thank, ROG, for bringing me more listeners.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,737 |
Great fun- an outstanding write with a zinger in every verse.
I`m no expert, but for my dime you nailed the Appalachian references and accent!
Well done.
Robert Thanks, Robert. I hope nobody takes me to task on the accent. It's probably a combination of different regional accents. :-) I LOL out loud!
This is a very creative write. You nailed that good ol' redneck sound! Loved it! Thanks, Mario. The humor in my song is the same type of stuff that used to get me in trouble in school. Great stuff Ezekiel.
Humorous, topical and inspired - a good happiness boost in these challenging times.
Mike Thanks for giving my song a listen, Mike! Funny little ditty, you put together.
Ha! a toilet paper song. Who would have thunk this a year ago?
Also, I speak Appalachian as my primary language and I'm still working on this "proper English" thing...
Thanks for posting your song.
Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then. Bawb, I lived in the mountains of southern West Virginia for a brief spell when I was a youngin. Then we moved back to Michigan where I reacquired my Midwestern accent. Funny stuff!! And, MAN, can I relate!! Nice job with the arrangement and the mix!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg Thanks so much, Greg!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,699
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,699 |
Hi Ezekiel I love it this is so funny great job I needed a laugh thanks eric
AMD (TM) 5950 4.9 GHz 16Core Processor 64 bit 32 bits of ram windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card Antelope ZenQ guitars Ibanez 2202a 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100,GT1000 pedal Yamaha HS8 studio monitors
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Peter Gannon Talks Band-in-a-Box with zplane
zplane recently interviewed Peter Gannon, the founder and creator of Band-in-a-Box, about the software's early days, what sets it apart from AI, how zplane's audio algorithms are used in Band-in-a-Box, and more!
Special thanks to the team at zplane for their continued support.
Check out the full interview here: https://products.zplane.de/blog/peter-gannon-interview-pg-music
Last Chance! The Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® Special Ends Today (May 31, 2026) at 11:59pm PDT!
Time really is running out! Save up to 50% on Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® upgrades and receive a FREE Bonus PAK—only when you order by 11:59 PM PDT today!
We've added many major new features and new content in a redesigned Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®!
Version 2026 introduces a modernized GUI redesign across the program, with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, and a new Dark Mode option. There’s also a new side toolbar for quicker access to commonly used windows, and the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, making it easier to customize your workspace.
Another exciting new addition is the amazing new AI-Notes feature, which can transcribe polyphonic audio into MIDI. View the results in notation or play them back as MIDI, and choose whether to transcribe an entire track or transcribe specific parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®.
There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, and much more!
Upgrade your Band-in-a-Box for Mac® to save up to 50% on most Band-in-a-Box® 2026 upgrade packages!
Plus, when you order your Band-in-a-Box® 2026 Mac upgrade during our special, you'll receive a Free Bonus PAK of exciting new add-ons.
If you need any help deciding which package is the best option for you, just let us know. We are here to help!
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 Mac Special Offers Extended Until May 31st!
Good news- we've extended our Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® special offers until May 31, 2026!
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 is packed with major new features, enhancements, and an incredible lineup of new content! The program now sports a sleek, modern GUI redesign across the entire interface, including updated toolbars, refreshed windows, smoother workflows, a new dark mode option, and more. The brand-new side toolbar provides quicker access to key windows, while the new Multi-View feature lets you arrange multiple windows as layered panels without overlap, creating a flexible, clutter-free workspace. We have an amazing new “AI-Notes” feature. This transcribes polyphonic audio into MIDI so you can view it in notation or play it back as MIDI. You can transcribe an entire track (all pitched instruments and drums) or focus on individual parts like drums, bass, guitars/piano, or vocals. There's an amazing collection of new content too, including 202 RealTracks, new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two RealDrums Stems sets, and much more!
There are over 100 new features in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®.
When you order purchase Band-in-a-Box® 2026 before 11:59 PM PDT on May 31st, you'll also receive a Free Bonus PAK packed with exciting new add-ons.
Check out the Band-in-a-Box® for Mac packages page to find the best package for you.
Holiday Weekend Hours
It's Victoria Day Long Weekend in Canada. Our Customer Service hours are:
Saturday, May 16: Closed
Sunday, May 17: Closed
Monday, May 18: 8:00am - 4:00pm
Regular hours resume Tuesday, May 19th!
Today's the Last Day of the Band-in-a-Box 2026® for Mac Special!
Order before 11:59pm PDT today (May 15, 2026) to save up to 50% off your Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® upgrade and receive a FREE Bonus PAK loaded with great new Add-ons to use with this new version!
Don't wait - order today!
Check out all the new features in the redesigned Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®!
Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac - Special Offers End at 11:59pm PDT on Friday, May 15th, 2026!
Order before 11:59pm PDT on Friday, May 15th and SAVE up to 50% on most Band-in-a-Box® version 2026 for Mac Upgrade packages... and that's not all! With your version 2026 for Mac purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons FREE! Upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks... that's 222 NEW RealTracks available with version Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac!
Upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac® today for as little as $49! Check out the Band-in-a-Box® packages page for all available purchase options.
Learn more about the Free Bonus PAK and 49-PAK here.
If you have any questions about which package is the best option for you, just let us know. We're here to help!
202 New RealTracks Released with Band-in-a-Box 2026!
With Band-in-a-Box® 2026, we've released 202 incredible new RealTracks (in sets 468-488) in a variety of genres—featuring your most requested styles!
Jazz, Funk & World (Sets 468-475):
Our new jazz, funk & blues RealTracks include a groovin’ collection of RealTracks and RealDrums! These include more requested “soul jazz” RealTracks featuring artists Neil Swainson (bass), Charles Treadway (organ), Brent Mason (guitar), and Wes Little (drums). There are new “smooth jazz” styles (4), which include a RealTracks first: muted trumpet, as well as slick new smooth jazz brushes options for drums. Blues lovers will be thrilled—there are more “classic acoustic blues” styles, including guitar (5), bass (4), and drums (10) with blues master Colin Linden, featuring understated and tasty background acoustic soloing, plus brushes drums and acoustic bass. There are also new electric blues RealTracks, including electric blues with PG favorite Johnny Hiland (3) and soulful electric slide guitar from Colin Linden (4). If you love funk & gospel, there are great new options this year, including gospel organ (3) from Charles Treadway, as well as new funk, tango, and rock ’n’ roll drums (3) and bass (1). And for big, bold arrangements, we have uptempo soul horns (4) featuring a three-part hip horn section with options for a full mix or stems of each individual horn — plus an accompanying rhythm section (4) of drums, bass, guitar, and electric piano!
Rock & Pop (Sets 476–482):
Our new rock & pop RealTracks bring a powerful mix of requested favorites, fresh genres, and modern chart-inspired styles! We have more of our popular “Producer Layered Acoustic Guitars (15)” featuring Band-in-a-Box favorite Brent Mason. We’ve continued our much-requested disco styles (10), and added new Celtic guitar (5) with a more basic, accessible approach than our previous Drop-D or DADGAD offerings. There are also highly requested yacht rock styles (17), inspired by the smooth, polished soft-rock sound of the late ’70s and early ’80s — laid-back grooves, silky electric pianos, warm textures, elegant harmonic movement, and pristine production aesthetics. Fans of heavier styles will love our new glam metal (13), capturing the flashy, high-energy sound of ’80s arena-ready guitar rock. We also have a set of rootsy modern-folk rock (18), with a warm, organic sound combining contemporary folk textures and driving acoustic strumming. And we’ve added lots of new modern pop styles (16) — the kinds of sounds you’re hearing on the radio today, featuring exciting new drums, synths, and cutting-edge RealTracks arrangements.
Country, & Americana (Sets 483–488):
Our new country & Americana RealTracks deliver a rich collection of acoustic, electric, and roots-inspired styles! We have new country pop (9) with legendary guitarist Brent Mason. There is also a potpourri (14) of bouzouki, guitars, banjo, and more, perfect for adding texture and character to contemporary acoustic arrangements. We’ve added funky country guitar (5) with PG favorite Brent Mason, along with classic pedal steel styles (5) featuring steel great Doug Jernigan. There are more country songwriter styles (8) that provide intimate, rootsy foundations for storytelling and modern Americana writing. Finally, we have “background soloing” acoustic guitar (12) with Brent Mason — simpler, but still very tasty acoustic lines designed to sit beautifully behind vocals or act as a subtle standalone solo part.
Check out all the 202 new RealTracks (in sets 468-488)!
And, if you are looking for more, the 2026 49-PAK (for $49) includes an impressive collection of 20 bonus RealTracks, featuring exciting and inspiring additions to add to your RealTracks library. You'll get new country-rhythm guitar styles from PG Music favorites Johnny Hiland and Brent Mason, along with modern-pop grooves that capture today’s radio-ready sound! There are also new indie-folk styles with guitar, bass, 6-string bass used as a high-chording instrument, acoustic guitar, and banjo. Plus, dedicated "cymbal fills" RealDrums provide an added layer that work very well with low-key folky styles with other percussion.
The 2026 49-PAK is loaded with other great new add-ons as well. Learn more about the 2026 49-PAK!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums57
Topics86,542
Posts806,322
Members40,148
| |
Most Online64,515
Apr 8th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean