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This is the second song I have posted here, and I enjoyed getting your feedback on my first song. I hope you will give your attention to this track for few minutes, and write me a note with your thoughts, good or bad.

I suppose this is not meant to be a pop or commercial song, as it is about the life of trees. More of a singer-songwriter piece, something unique to the songwriter. Trees have always fascinated me; their beauty, their longevity, their ability and endure and thrive in each season. Are trees cold in the winter? What do trees dream?

Once, while driving in winter, and looking at the snow-covered trees, the opening line "Well the bare sweet trees aren't cold at all" came to me.

As for BIAB, this track has been in and out of BIAB a number of times. I was unsuccessful at first in finding a style I liked, so I left. Then once the chords were fully developed elsewhere, I came back to BIAB and created the song again, and auditioned more styles and settled on HORA_B, and used the drums and bass and guitar to build a boss nova feeling. Later, I found the guitar didn't work with my piano rhythms and I tried the Freddie Green guitar and eventually changed over to a "manilow" guitar. The work was finished in Mixcraft 9.

Here are the lyrics and the link to the SoundCloud song.

Leafy Green

Verse 1:
Well those Bare sweet trees aren't cold at all underneath their winter white
Yes the Winter trees they doze all day and they sleep the dreamless night
Prechorus 1:
For when winter comes they sleep
(And) When spring comes they start to dream
Summer, Summer Dreams
Leafy Green

Chorus 1
(Oh) Leafy Green Sweet Summer Scene
That's What Trees Dream Each Day
Leafy Green Sweet Summer Dreams
While Winter Melts Away

Verse 2
Now In Spring the trees realize their dreams they wake to soft spring light
Yes In Spring the trees make the living green working all the day and night
Prechorus 2
Working now with all their might
In Spring the Living Come to Light
Summer, Summer Dreams
Leafy Green


Repeat Chorus 1
Oh Leafy Green Sweet Summer Scene
That's What Trees Dream Each Day
Leafy Green Sweet Summer Dreams
While Winter Melts Away

Verse 3
See the summer trees swaying with the breeze, Wide Awake, Dreams are done
Now those leafy trees living at their ease, breathing air, or everyone
Prechorus 3
So the world breathes in and out
The trees begin to sing and shout
Summer, Summer’s Here
Leafy /Green
Repeat Chorus
Repeat Verse 1
Repeat Prechorus 1
Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

https://soundcloud.com/glenn-polin/leafy-green/s-FwIG3b2c7nQ

Brilliant! A slow, Latin dance feeling to beautiful lyrics. A really excellent song - bravo!

Thanks so much for your kind words!

Glenn

Glenn,
Very fun performance & phrasing. I think you done excellent job on this tune.

I am not a professional by any means, so speaking as an average listener. I would prefer vocals to be lowered and backing a little louder, all except the piano. Maybe a little more reverb on the vocals too. You have very clear voice, so I do not believe more reverb would muddy it. Also, last chorus "doubling" vocals a little tighter.

Enjoyed it! Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Misha, I appreciate this feedback. I will go back and listen to vocals versus background. I agree the piano is already as prominent as it can be. I always tend to favor the vocals and piano, maybe too much here.

I think I just got tired that last morning, trying to get two takes of the chorus to double in good enough sync, so I convinced myself that the lack of sync was "artistic"..maybe I will try again. I am, at heart, an improviser, and rarely sing something the same way twice.

Thank you again for listening and taking the time to comment.

Glenn

Glenn,

Quite a "bright" sounding song. It has the character of "leafy green trees" - so, job well done. It has a sound and feel that fall somewhere between an educational, children's song (like Sesame Street?) and a Show tune...so...kinda cool...

Catchy, too.

fj

Hello Tiger.
I enjoyed listening to your creation.
Thank you for posting. Rob4580

I enjoyed the listen - the harmony at the end was especially nice.

Floyd,

I appreciate hearing from you. Thanks for your perceptive comments. You are right in that the song lacks a specific genre. I just followed the song, and as it developed, I began to hear it as a folk song, and then a sort of a lullaby, a song that a mother might sing to her children. I am looking for that accomplished woman singer with a delicate voice who could convince the listener that she was singing to children. Until I find that singer, we are stuck with my baritone!

Floyd, you said the song was "bright"...I just wanted to make sure that wasn't a coded message to turn something down in the mix?

Or did you just mean "bright and cheery", as opposed to "my dog died and my baby left me and Covid is knocking on my door."?

Best Wishes,
Glenn

Thanks, David! Appreciate you listening.

Rob, thank you for listening and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed listening.

Glenn

Glenn,
I like the original inspiration of the lyrics, placing them in a jazzy context added to the interest for me.
The melody is catchy and the backing smooth. Others have made helpful comments on improving your mix (the endless endeavor for us home studio folks); the main thing is you are making cool music that goes beyond cliche.
Well done!

Robert

Well, we get it as we live in a mature forest!

For thirty years we have hiked and biked through them and
learned to appreciate all the magical qualities.

Thanks for putting all of that to music.

We enjoyed.

J&B

Those two chords at the end of the chorus are too loud and abrupt - you could manage those a little more.
The strings aren't balanced by anything on the other side of the stereo image - you could create a stereo file of the strings or keep that acoustic guitar that appeared for a bit going though at a matched volume.
Your voice is clear but there's some sibilant sound stuff happening that is a little annoying when a vocal is that far forward so I'd suggest treating them and/or reducing the vocal level.

Rayc, thanks for the specific and honest feedback. Turn the voice and those post-chorus chords down. Done!

Everything you said was clear and direct, but I didn't understand what you meant about the strings, and "the other side of the stereo image." Are you talking about right/left? Because I have the strings in the middle in my DAW.

If you catch this, I would appreciate a little help with what you mean.

Glenn

Hello Glenn,

It feels you enjoyed the making and singing of this song very much. It reminded me of a song belonging to a musical for children, situated somewhere in the 60's. But of course I can't recall any name...
And as you yourself stated; a femalevoice would be great in it too. Ask Janice!
You did a very fine job on this one!

Hans

Pretty music and an interesting, creative lyric!! The song feels like it could be part of a musical....whimsical! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg

Robert, thanks so much for listening. I am happy if someone thinks I am "beyond cliche." That is important to me.

Best Wishes,
Glenn

Greg, thanks for listening. Whimsical is a fine word. Happy to be a little whimsical in today's world.

Glenn

Janice and Bud, thanks from a fellow forest appreciator. A forest is a magical place, and if you think I captured a little bit of that in a song, well that makes me happy.

Glenn