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Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Oct 2019
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Sorry to post and run, but...
Could you give me your opinion???
[Link no longer valid]
In case you're wondering, it's about the adversary.
Also, any suggestions on a title???
So I combined two different styles in BIAB (Quasar for the verses and crok12s for the Chorus. Also, do the words sound corny???
Keep going or throw it in the pile???
Thanks
Last edited by Andrew - PG Music; 01/25/21 11:13 AM.
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I think you've got something there.
Title suggestion...........
I have a bold idea, "Every Lie"
Carry on.
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It's certainly not for the trashcan.
It's got a great groove and an excellent vocal, though I struggled a bit
to catch all the lyrics.
If I might suggest - a bit more light and shade in the backing track would
improve the arrangement and a solo instrument break would fit in nicely.
It's good as it is, but still has a lot of potential to be worked out.
ROG.
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THis is cool. It's shaping up to be a fairly long song. Probably gonna be in the 5 minute plus range by the time it's done depending on what you do with the remainder.
Your voice has a Bruce Springsteen quality when you hit the chorus. I'd recommend dropping the reverb level on the voice and bring it up in the mix.
Also, due to the reverb and how far it is down in the mix, it was very difficult for me to understand most of the words.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Bawb,
Sounds good so far...
Keep going.
fj
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Bawb,
I’ll give you my opinion in one word: Yup! By all means.
OK, that was four, technically. But definitely keep working on it.
Best regards,
Deej
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Journeyman
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This is a keeper. There's lots of good stuff going on in there and a lot of potential.
Suggested areas development (just a couple since you didn't ask specifically):
*At 0:44 - "I know the lies you've spoken .. " - I was waiting for something to happen here
*At 0:58 - "Yet I'm standin' here ..." - anticipated *something* again
Favorite parts:
*At 1:20 - "Maybe I'm not as blind ..." (words were unclear) liked that shift and the sudden intensity.
*1:30 - 1:40 - Yeah - really nice chord changes and melody line
*1:50 - 2:00 - Good, higher intensity - maybe even more?
*2:10 - 2:20 - Nice - really feeling it, then a quiet section .. wondering what is next!
Ed Z Soundcloud profile https://soundcloud.com/user-415064494BIAB user since 2019 iPad Mini, Garageband for iOS, BIAB for Windows 2020 UltraPAK, Xtra Styles packs 6-9, Windows 10 Lenovo PC, Kontakt Player, SpitFire LABS, SampleTank 4 CS, some Soundfonts
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Hi Bawb,
had the radio on while having breakfast this morning. And I can tell you that I'd prefer your song a lot to most of what they played! Nothing that will get into one ear and flow out of the other one within a second.
It's the first song of yours I had the pleasure to listen to and I must say I'm completely stunned by your voice.
So my anser is YES YES YES!!!!!
All the best,
Stefan
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Hullo Bawb. (sounds like Billy before he shot Bob Ollinger). :-)
I think the basics are excellent.
Dial back on the reverb (especially the vocal) to make it more intimate.
Vic
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Hey, we just ran across this ... so many forum post nowadays!
You've gotten some excellent advice so carry on indeed.
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Yes keep going, seems a good song and vocal is great, as already said bring it up a bit, but most definitely keep going.
Looking forward to hearing it again when you are finished.
All the best.
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eddie1261
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Keep going or throw it in the pile??? I make this response with no derision intended, though it would be easy for you to take it that way. Why ask US? Does this song mean something to YOU? Are YOU happy with the lyric? The phrasing? The mood? The texture? This is YOUR song. I mean you wouldn't ask me if I thought your wife was hot because what does it matter what I think. The same logic applies. You don't need anybody's approval here. As with anything artistic or creative, you do you. Nobody here sits on such a lofty perch that they judge you. All that matters is whether YOU think it's a keeper.
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Bawb, It has proper bones, and I would say it is 80%+ complete. I think with a small push, you can wrap it up nicely. I think Iggy Pop (which is fun to listen btw) sounds corny. If it was me, I would finish it for the sake of completion. I have several dozen tunes that I wrote which I do not showcase, but I keep them as drafts and some of them I come back to. To me, it becomes clearer what to do later on. For example, just few days ago I came back to a tune that I wrote 2+ years ago, just because I am more comfortable with BIAB and have a better mic now, so I think I can make it better. So yeah, I would totally keep it  Thank you for sharing. Misha.
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PG Music Staff
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I would say that it's well worth it to finish everything. That applies to all art forms! You have something here so don't give up!
Cheers,
Ember
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I'm in agreement. Keep going with this style. You can build a body of work around it.
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Bawb,
The moody backing is a good match for your voice ( I agree with advice from others on bringing it more upfront & with clearer processing). Intro seems a bit long & some dynamic changes will help the arrangement on a long song... but it sounds like a keeper to me!
Robert
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I make this response with no derision intended, though it would be easy for you to take it that way.
Why ask US? Does this song mean something to YOU? Are YOU happy with the lyric? The phrasing? The mood? The texture? This is YOUR song. I mean you wouldn't ask me if I thought your wife was hot because what does it matter what I think. The same logic applies. You don't need anybody's approval here.
As with anything artistic or creative, you do you. Nobody here sits on such a lofty perch that they judge you. All that matters is whether YOU think it's a keeper.
My pal Eddie, or "Mr.Sunshine-Personality" as I like to call him, has a point here which hadn't occurred to me. We all seem to think this is worth pursuing, but yours is the only opinion which really matters as Eddie said. If you decide that you're not happy with the way the track is going, don't waste time on it because of what we've all said. I've ditched several of my songs recently, without anyone else hearing them, because I felt the end product wouldn't justify the time needed to finish them. Having said all that, I still liked the the track! ROG.
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Sounds good to me - look forward to hearing the finished product.
Peter
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