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Joined: Jul 2000
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Hi David, good to hear from you and welcome to our enclave - I appreciate the feedback. I haven't checked the bass timing yet - when I did the original BIAB version I used some pushes and this may be one of those spots where the midi notes and the RT notes do not align. By the way, the bass is a combo of two midi voices (picked/fretless) and they may not be in sync on their respective tracks. As for the high frequency - I hear none with my hearing loss - I mix with hearing aids and they boost nothing above 6.5K. The good ears here at the Forum have been a big help. I guess I've given up on frequencies above 6.5K but I usually give a 2db boost at around 8 to add some "air" which of course I can't hear  . Instrument flying I believe it's called  Thanks again - Ian
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Cheers Ian, wow sorry I didn't appreciate that about your hearing. With that context in mind scrap the comment, the could is bloody amazingly balanced considering you can't hear anything above 6.5k !
Loved the instrument flying ocmment too as I'm also anaviation nut !
Dave.
David,
Newcastle upon Tyne, England
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Ian,
This is really first class.
What I really enjoyed in this piece:
- the lyrics; simple effective, neat metaphor (the trial thing)
- the start; I just love songs that start with the chorus
- the harmonica throughout
- the mix
- the vox, both lead and harmony
What I think could be improved:
!
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Quote:
Kevin, I'm a little nervous to say this . . . but I never turn my back on ideas. So hit me . . . and if it's too tough send me a PM.
No, not too tough (LOL). Since it is already a pretty good tune, the suggestions are just things to think about. Following them probably wouldn't make the song any better.
1.) Use of internal rhyme, alliteration or some other writing "trick" on the last line of each verse. I see you are rhyming with the first two lines on the last line, but the last line is too far away for the brain to catch that rhyme. So,
"Saying I wrote it all in a song or two." --> Saying I spelled it out in a sinful song or two. (I don't like "s" alliterations too much, though).
"It's purely circumstantial and it's sad to know you think I'd lie." --> It's purely circumstantial and now you want a trial by fire"
"Let the gavel fall and we'll find us a good strong limb." --> Let the gavel fall and you'll haul me to a tree that's tall.
As I said, these are no better than what you have, but since I think your intent was to rhyme them with line 1, you may want to reconsider for impact.
2.) Songs of this "era" don't need a bridge, but a stop and reflection type thing ("... well maybe that redhead in Reno" type thing, which clouds the guilt thing might make a nice replacement for one of the choruses.
Kevin
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Thank you Marc - much appreciated.
Funny about the intro - it didn't start out that way originally. I tried to generate a BIAB Solo intro in the pre-RT days but I'm not a solo player and it never worked. So I did a practice edit to see how good it would sound with chorus/hook up front and bingo I liked it. Much stronger than starting with the v.1 lyric. Guess it never hurts to experiment.
Merry Christmas - Ian
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