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One more, from me. For this one, I really have to thank PG Music - as you'll hear, the RealStyle employed here is - even more than usual, I think - crucial to the song. Thanks, PG Music, truly. I love the poetry of the late Romantic poet, Mihai Eminescu. Tonight, I thought I'd try and translate one of his poems into English, then use my translation and BIAB to make a track out of it. It came out kinda dark, I think (and the translation is not always exact), but I do hope you like it. THANKS for listening and for your comments! I'm Far Away From YouTHE LYRICS (by Mihai Eminescu, translated by me): I'm far away from you, and lonely by the fire I pass, through my own mind, my life, ever so dire; It's eighty years, I feel, that in this world I lived That I'm as old as winter, that you've long been extinct. Remembrances do fall as raindrops in my soul Re-awakening to me my past's own void, black hole; With fingers of its own the wind hits my windows Whilst in my thoughts the thread of tender stories flows. And then it seems to me as if, through fog so dense, I see you passing through, with arms so cold; and thence With both your arms you hug me, you hold me e'er so close ... Perhaps you want to talk ... and then your sigh just falls ... I hold on, to my chest, my love, long past now gone In kisses we unite our poor lives, alone ... Oh! and may remembrance remain forever mute, So I may forever forget my luck, ever so brute, And so I may forget how quick you pulled away ... Alone and old I'll be, you'll long have lived your day. THE BAND: ****** Song Summary ************* Title: I'm Far Away From You - 10 September 2022 File:I'm Far Away From You - 10 September 2022.SGU Key=Dm , Tempo 85, Length (m:s)=2:49 No intro. 56 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 56. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Style is _PAIR.STY (Pair Synth Jam Groove) RealTracks in style: 3682:Bass, Synth, SmoothJazzCoolJeff Sw16 075 RealTracks in style: 1997:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm SmoothJazzCool Sw16 100 RealTracks in style: 2536:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernPopSw16Zane Sw16 075 RealTracks in style: 1840:Synth Pad, PopModernGrooveMellow Ev16 075 RealDrums in style:SmoothJazzCoolSw16-1-XStHHt,SnRd [Multi]******************* Voice and BIAB track mixed in Mixcraft Pro Studio 9. There's also a "room next door" effect at bars 49 to 52, on the BIAB track.
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Great lyrics and I think the instruments fit really well! I think the lyrics are read a bit too fast though.
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Grooving backing track!
Thanks for translating a poet that is unknown to me. Since you did the translation, I assume that you created the rhyme scheme in English? Good job.
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Put your many talents to great use with this one, James.
Kind of has that experimental vibe, like something that might be heard in one of the hip coffee shops and watering holes of Paris or New York. I enjoyed it.
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That's a cool funky groove.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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You're right, James. Really cool BiaB. It's cool how the whole group holds a great groove while you rap out some inspirational Eminescu. RAP? James? Yeah, dude. Really cool how you put this all together. Scott mentioned the English rhyme scheme. That was surely no easy task. There was something wrong with the sound from 2:19 to 2:27 --unless it's just on my end. It sounds like that part was sent through an old transistor radio.
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Very nice lyrics and a good band. But it was a bit difficult to keep up with you! Felt kinda exhausted at the end.  However, great job to translate this poem and write music for it. Anne-Marie
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James,
Brave lyrical/musical experiment. I believe it is very rewarding to try things outside your comfort zone. Nice effort and thank you for sharing.
Misha.
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We have a rapper amongst us!
This is totally different than your other tracks.
Great job on that backing band.
Very good job on the poem although it was a little hard to understand at times.
However this is a good song.
Two thumbs up.
I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor.
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I like it.  But it seems like it could have used another pass to tighten up the vocals. The backing track sounds like you've put a low-pass filter - very lo-fi. I assume you did that so the vocals would come out in front? At 2:16 the guitar drops out, and there's only the backing track. That sounds like an error to me. But still, I enjoyed it!
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Oh my goodness. Thanks, all. This was a more "experimental" attempt, so I'm glad you seem to have enjoyed it.
David: The "error" at 2:16 was deliberate :-) I put one of those "radio next door" effects on, purely to change the timbre of the track. I like it :-)
Scott and Marty: yes, the rhyme scheme was mine. It was a nightmare to translate, at times, but I did my best :-)
Thanks, each one of you.
Ed, that's exactly what I was going for ... that "experimental" vibe. Happy to see it seems to have worked!
Anne-Marie: I'm not a good enough rapper to do the song justice, but a better one than me, perhaps, rapping like I did would perhaps do it justice? Who knows! :-) Thanks for listening and for your kind comment!!!
Misha: Thank you!
Mario: thanks, haha. Not really a rapper, I lack the clarity in speech for it, but ... I enjoy messing around with styles of music, anyhow :-) Thanks :-)
David (again): Yes, could have done with another pass ... this was Take 7, though, so I gave up by then, haha (I know I shouldn't!). And no lo-fi filter ... but removed the drums, maybe that had something to do with it? Who knows. Thanks :-)
Again, thank you ALL, and thanks to PG Music for the STUNNING backing track groove!
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James,
Good experimentation. Seems a good direction for you to continue developing.
Kind of half way between spoken-word and rapping. It works for this and might work for other stuff.
As David notes, there is a lo-fi quality to the tracks.
fj
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I think you have a nice groove here and your vocals fit it well.
The only thing I'm not happy with is the choice of low pass for the bass, it sounds muddy and undefined.
I would bring in more treble, I would even go so far as to suggest a real slap bass which would accentuate the groove better.
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As Ed said, "Kind of has that experimental vibe, like something that might be heard in one of the hip coffee shops and watering holes of Paris or New York"
That pretty much sums it up for us.
An experimental vibe that worked out well.
Nice delivery, backing tracks - and that translation? Wow.
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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I'm really impressed with your translation, that takes work and skill.
I really felt like this called for a slower, more contemplative delivery as we usually hear from you. I guess you were trying to switch things up, and I understand the need for that, but I would've gone for the "same old thing" on this one.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Floyd: thanks. It was an experiment, I'm glad it seems to have worked. Let's see what the future brings :-)
B. D. Thomas: yes, very valid points. I'll see what I can do to try out your advice, I think it's spot on. Thank you!
Janice and Bud: thank you. The poem is, I find, stunning, so it was nice to work on it, though not the easiest of tasks at times. Wish more people would know of him :-) Anyway, glad to hear that my little experiment sounded good to you! :-)
TuneMonger: I do agree. Perhaps a slower delivery may have worked. I just wanted a) to switch it up a little, and b) not to wallow. I thought that, if I give it a slower tempo, it'll sound like a dirge, haha ;-) so I thought better to go for an unexpected angle. But I'll reflect on it and see if I can do a slower version, perhaps? Thanks :-)
Thanks, all, again!
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