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Submarine Pirates #738174 11/11/22 03:36 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	https://soundcloud.com/japokeapeg/submarine-pirates A fitting Armistice day post, the story of my Grandfather who served on submarines in WW1 Submarine Pirates Ran away at 16 for a life at sea, Then Brought straight back home by the police. Did it again the very next day, “If he’s so desperate then we’ll let him stay.” A dead end shot and the archduke was dead, Thunder was rolling dark skies ahead. Assigned as crew to a top secret boat, Couldn’t say too much in the letter I wrote. Chorus Submarine Pirates, underhand and undersea Submarine Pirates, sneaking round in the deep Then coming home Jolly Roger flying free Submarine Pirates, so ungentlemanly Back to the valleys after the war, I’ve heard they pay good money for stokers in the forge. But the pull of the sea was too much to bear, So it’s back to Plymouth to wear those flares. Chorus Black clouds over Europe had gathered again, Our Merchant supply ships were being lost in the fray. On “Courageous” I went to help them get through, With a dozen Fairy Swordfish and their aircrew. M8 Just south of Ireland she turned into the wind, To set her Swordfish free. But just then a glint … 3 wakes, 2 had hit. It only took 20 odd minutes, For Courageous to sink. Chorus © S W Jones 2021 Title: submarine pirates File:submarine pirates 2.SGU Key=C , Tempo 100, Length (m:s)=4:33 No intro. 110 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 110. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Song is saved with bar changes for Styles, Style is _TRMINUS.STY (Terminus Slow Even-8 Garage Rock) RealTracks in style: 2743:Bass, Synth, AltHipHop8ths Ev16 085 RealTracks in style: ~1118:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 802:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm SouthernSnappyGritty Ev 090 (B:8ths) RealTracks in style: 3736:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm GrungeSlowDistPower8ths Ev 080 RealDrums in style:RockHardLA^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Loose HiHat

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738215 11/11/22 11:00 AM User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 24,703 Hamlin NY MarioD Veteran
MarioD Veteran Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 24,703 Hamlin NY	Super story put to song Great vocal and mix I can see Gordon Lightfoot singing this. OK, a random thought; Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it? 64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738222 11/11/22 11:50 AM User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2016 Posts: 7,264 Cooran Queensland Australia rayc Veteran
rayc Veteran Joined: Apr 2016 Posts: 7,264 Cooran Queensland Australia	The multi track vocal leans heavily to the left in the verse and centres in the chorus. Good music though you're vocal is out for the third verse I think. There are a couple of spots where you've piled syllables on top of each other where a lyric edit may have helped. The narrative confused me - your preamble referred to WWI & grandfather in a sub: HMS Couragous was lightly armoured & lightly armed battleship/cruiser that survived WWI & became an aircraft carrier which was later sunk by a German sub in 39 and the Fairy Swordfish were the ship mounted torpedo carrying biplanes of WWI. The details, I suppose aren't as important as painting a picture but there're some significant time & situation changes that appear. The song sounds good, the chorus vocal hook works and a little vocal mix tweaking may make it sound even better. Good to have family history in song. Last edited by rayc; 11/11/22 11:54 AM. Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738231 11/11/22 01:48 PM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	Thanks Mario and Rayc

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738233 11/11/22 02:21 PM User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018 Posts: 3,666 Virginia USA Ezekiel's Storm Veteran
Ezekiel's Storm Veteran Joined: Sep 2018 Posts: 3,666 Virginia USA	I like the chorus hook. Nothing more satisfying than to weave your family history into a song!

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738239 11/11/22 03:32 PM User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 3,224 Maryland TuneMonger Veteran
TuneMonger Veteran Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 3,224 Maryland	What a story within a song! Great storytelling, and it's true to boot. Some prosody issues, but that's common when dealing with a story this big. Terrific job, liked it a lot. Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738252 11/12/22 12:28 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	Thanks Ezekiel's Storm and TuneMonger

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738453 11/13/22 10:44 AM User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 8,330 Edmonton, Ab, Canada Scott C Veteran
Scott C Veteran Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 8,330 Edmonton, Ab, Canada	Excellent intro. Loved the guitar tune. Super vocal and lyrics. Well done Scott Collingwood https://soundcloud.com/scottt709 https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/

Re: Submarine Pirates Scott C #738461 11/13/22 11:46 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	Thanks Scott

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738465 11/13/22 12:05 PM User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2020 Posts: 2,758 United States Bass Thumper Veteran
Bass Thumper Veteran Joined: Jun 2020 Posts: 2,758 United States	Very creative, liked this a lot. I especially like the intro. IMHO the only room for improvement is in the bridge "M8 Just south of Ireland she turned into the wind, . . ." The vocals felt a little off or flat. Could have been the harmony. Overall, great job. https://soundcloud.com/user-646279677 BiaB 2026 Windows For me there’s no better place in the band than to have one leg in the harmony world and the other in the percussive. Thank you Paul Tutmarc and Leo Fender.

Re: Submarine Pirates Bass Thumper #738467 11/13/22 12:20 PM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	thank you

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738535 11/14/22 05:37 AM User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012 Posts: 12,921 Florida floyd jane Veteran
floyd jane Veteran Joined: Aug 2012 Posts: 12,921 Florida	A good Slow Rock sound. Nice use of BIAB. The doubled vocals are interesting. (I thought they were slightly too-up-front - but just a bit). Quite the story... fj 150+ Songs produced using BIAB RealTracks And 50 more... and some more...

Re: Submarine Pirates floyd jane #738559 11/14/22 07:26 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	Thank you

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #738565 11/14/22 07:51 AM User Showcase
Joined: Mar 2012 Posts: 201 Sweden A Alexander Paul Apprentice
Alexander Paul Apprentice A Joined: Mar 2012 Posts: 201 Sweden	Cool that you've managed to turn your grandfather's story into lyrics. Great melody as well. Feel free to check out my music: https://www.youtube.com/@alexanderpaulmusic

Re: Submarine Pirates Alexander Paul #738571 11/14/22 08:59 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	thanks Alexander

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #739518 11/18/22 07:31 AM User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2022 Posts: 1,031 California Brad Williams Expert
Brad Williams Expert Joined: Feb 2022 Posts: 1,031 California	I loved that story put to music. I thought the writing, particularly that first verse, was terrific. I agree that it may need some editing to make all the syllables fit in some places. I really appreciate you putting this song out there. My Great-grandfather fought in that war, my Grandfather in WWII, and the tradition has continued through our family all the way to my kids so far. Is that a photo of your Grandfather that you posted with the song? https://soundcloud.com/user-722422510/tracks

Re: Submarine Pirates Brad Williams #739590 11/18/22 11:36 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	Thanks Brad. Yes that's him in the photo, he was in both world wars. The first verse related to his WW1 experiences on a K class submarine, the second to the period in between and the last to his service on the Courageous at the start of WW11 on which he was killed when couageous was torpedoed.

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #739631 11/18/22 03:14 PM User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2010 Posts: 8,197 Sacramento, California dcuny Veteran
dcuny Veteran Joined: Sep 2010 Posts: 8,197 Sacramento, California	Nice song - a story well told. -- David Cuny My virtual singer development blog Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing? BiaB 2025 \| Windows 11 \| Reaper \| Way too many VSTis.

Re: Submarine Pirates dcuny #739677 11/18/22 11:55 PM User Showcase
Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan japokeapeg OP Apprentice
OP japokeapeg Apprentice Joined: May 2019 Posts: 117 Vale of Glamorgan	Thanks David. He was an incredible man

Re: Submarine Pirates japokeapeg #739742 11/19/22 11:33 AM User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 16,134 GA USA Janice & Bud Veteran
Janice & Bud Veteran Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 16,134 GA USA	Cool! A modern sea shanty in a gritty rock and roll style. We feel like we read a good short story of a young man’s war experiences, both the adventures and the horrors. However, we’re sorry about the unhappy ending for your grandfather. A fine tribute! J&B Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos

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