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https://soundcloud.com/japokeapeg/submarine-piratesA fitting Armistice day post, the story of my Grandfather who served on submarines in WW1 Submarine Pirates Ran away at 16 for a life at sea, Then Brought straight back home by the police. Did it again the very next day, “If he’s so desperate then we’ll let him stay.” A dead end shot and the archduke was dead, Thunder was rolling dark skies ahead. Assigned as crew to a top secret boat, Couldn’t say too much in the letter I wrote. Chorus Submarine Pirates, underhand and undersea Submarine Pirates, sneaking round in the deep Then coming home Jolly Roger flying free Submarine Pirates, so ungentlemanly Back to the valleys after the war, I’ve heard they pay good money for stokers in the forge. But the pull of the sea was too much to bear, So it’s back to Plymouth to wear those flares. Chorus Black clouds over Europe had gathered again, Our Merchant supply ships were being lost in the fray. On “Courageous” I went to help them get through, With a dozen Fairy Swordfish and their aircrew. M8 Just south of Ireland she turned into the wind, To set her Swordfish free. But just then a glint … 3 wakes, 2 had hit. It only took 20 odd minutes, For Courageous to sink. Chorus © S W Jones 2021 Title: submarine pirates File:submarine pirates 2.SGU Key=C , Tempo 100, Length (m:s)=4:33 No intro. 110 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 110. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Song is saved with bar changes for Styles, Style is _TRMINUS.STY (Terminus Slow Even-8 Garage Rock) RealTracks in style: 2743:Bass, Synth, AltHipHop8ths Ev16 085 RealTracks in style: ~1118:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 802:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm SouthernSnappyGritty Ev 090 (B:8ths) RealTracks in style: 3736:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm GrungeSlowDistPower8ths Ev 080 RealDrums in style:RockHardLA^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Loose HiHat
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Super story put to song
Great vocal and mix
I can see Gordon Lightfoot singing this.
I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor.
It was the best game of Hungry Hippos I've ever seen!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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The multi track vocal leans heavily to the left in the verse and centres in the chorus.
Good music though you're vocal is out for the third verse I think.
There are a couple of spots where you've piled syllables on top of each other where a lyric edit may have helped.
The narrative confused me - your preamble referred to WWI & grandfather in a sub: HMS Couragous was lightly armoured & lightly armed battleship/cruiser that survived WWI & became an aircraft carrier which was later sunk by a German sub in 39 and the Fairy Swordfish were the ship mounted torpedo carrying biplanes of WWI.
The details, I suppose aren't as important as painting a picture but there're some significant time & situation changes that appear.
The song sounds good, the chorus vocal hook works and a little vocal mix tweaking may make it sound even better.
Good to have family history in song.
Last edited by rayc; 11/11/22 11:54 AM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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I like the chorus hook.
Nothing more satisfying than to weave your family history into a song!
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What a story within a song! Great storytelling, and it's true to boot. Some prosody issues, but that's common when dealing with a story this big. Terrific job, liked it a lot.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Thanks Ezekiel's Storm and TuneMonger
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Excellent intro. Loved the guitar tune.
Super vocal and lyrics. Well done
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Very creative, liked this a lot. I especially like the intro.
IMHO the only room for improvement is in the bridge "M8 Just south of Ireland she turned into the wind, . . ."
The vocals felt a little off or flat. Could have been the harmony.
Overall, great job.
https://soundcloud.com/user-646279677BiaB 2025 Windows For me there’s no better place in the band than to have one leg in the harmony world and the other in the percussive. Thank you Paul Tutmarc and Leo Fender.
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A good Slow Rock sound. Nice use of BIAB.
The doubled vocals are interesting. (I thought they were slightly too-up-front - but just a bit).
Quite the story...
fj
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Cool that you've managed to turn your grandfather's story into lyrics. Great melody as well.
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I loved that story put to music. I thought the writing, particularly that first verse, was terrific. I agree that it may need some editing to make all the syllables fit in some places. I really appreciate you putting this song out there. My Great-grandfather fought in that war, my Grandfather in WWII, and the tradition has continued through our family all the way to my kids so far. Is that a photo of your Grandfather that you posted with the song?
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Thanks Brad. Yes that's him in the photo, he was in both world wars. The first verse related to his WW1 experiences on a K class submarine, the second to the period in between and the last to his service on the Courageous at the start of WW11 on which he was killed when couageous was torpedoed.
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Nice song - a story well told.
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Thanks David. He was an incredible man
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Cool! A modern sea shanty in a gritty rock and roll style.
We feel like we read a good short story of a young man’s war experiences, both the adventures and the horrors. However, we’re sorry about the unhappy ending for your grandfather.
A fine tribute!
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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