Hi Brian, this is very good. I like the vox and the lyrics. This has a lot of potential IMHO.

If I could make a couple of suggestions they would be:
1-replace the lead instrument. IMO it is way to busy for this song. Something simpler, more melodic would be a better choice, for me anyway.

2-NEVER have a lead instrument competing with the lead vocal. When the singer(s) comes in they should be in the spotlight alone. In this version the lead fights with the vocals in a couple of places.

3-fix the ending

Again the above suggestions are something that I would do to this song. You and others may or may not agree.

I really do like this song and think it does have a ton of potential.

Whenever I get something stuck in the back of my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a beer.
It's called the Heineken Maneuver.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware