Good deal John. I don't think most people understand the cancer until it starts driving nails into your skull. Once you've had it it lurks like a thief in the shadows. Is it back, what's that pain.

For me, going from a pea tumor you couldn't see to a huge lemon perched on my neck in 6 weeks was a shock.

Now I have my wife or daughter approve my computer/internet use. I too got a huge clean bill of health recently, however the medications for the side effects cause me either to be unable to talk (and even then my voice got messed up by radiation) but I just can't control myself. So I'm either unable to think and hoppped up or the pain takes over and I'm just unable to cope. There is no fine line it seems, but this morning I was ok to go for a walk and use the computer. My wife takes me to band, and I have little patience with it, the med I take for the peripheral neuropathy makes me stutter badly and sway, but I sway anyway and walk with a cane.

And probably like you every small problem seems to be a repeat and we all have (at least I do) friends who lost this battle and suddenly that sore throat, or swelling is the thing you dread...

My docs say the neuropathy will go away about 2 years after the treatment, so one more year. Yeh.


Oh well, carry on...


Like you I want to play. I always sang too, but now I can't talk and when I do I start to loose my voice.

Oh well, carry on...

I found out my dislike for music is that from 1900 hz to 2100 hz I hear different notes in each ear.

The are working to NOT boost those frequencies in my hearing aids, and I'm plugging one ear, and I've dampened all the upper strings on my piano that normally ring a bit when you hit the lower note, so that those jacked up frequencies I need to hear my wife and grandson's consonants don't mess up music.

Like you I want to play again, and I'm going to start a 'group' where John and sometimes the wife, brings lead sheets and backing tracks, and everyone jams. B flat transpositions E flat etc. The local legion hall has a big room they almost never use and I might start there. I have a trip to Europe to take first, global rail pass for 22 countries, eating bananas and drinking water, and watching the Alps go by...

Time for a nap. TC...

John Conley
Musica est vita