Hi Josie and Bob,

My goodness! With song, you've just raised the bar even higher if that's at all possible.

I really, really like the lyric technique used in this song. A non-rhyming verse, with discreet use of occasional inner-rhymes, that leads into a rhyming chorus. It's a great format for adding emotional oomph to lyrics. This technique has been used very successfully in some Neil Diamond, Carpenters and George Gershwin songs. I guess those names speak for themselves

I notice that you ask for thoughts on this song. I don't know if this one will be useful or not. A small thing that occurred to me as I listened was the second line of the second chorus. I found myself wondering if you'd tried reversing 'once' and 'was'. To my ears, finishing the line with 'once' might work well with its partner rhyme 'enough'. As already stated, though, this is nothing more than a thought.

I've got to say that the mix is excellent and, Josie, your singing is absolutely perfect for this song. It worked for me incredibly well. I love the sound of your voice. I was there with you in the song for the entire journey. Beautiful writing on all levels.

Wow!

All the best,
Noel

Last edited by Noel96; 06/05/11 01:31 PM.

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2025