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Hey ya'll,
Here's a new song. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you in advance for listening and any comments you wish to share. We really appreciate your ears and insights.

This song was started in BIAB, RT's added in RB and mixed in Tracktion.
RT's used are: Piano 887, Bass 519, Drums NashEv8 and NashPopBallad, Guitars 1167 and 1259. Miroslav strings.

Candle In The Window

©2011 Josie Beck, Robert Dean

Street lamp glowing on the rain soaked pavement
If you look up close between the naked trees
You’ll see her there by a candle in the window
Light combing her hair and rain still on her face

She always lights a candle in the window
Saying a prayer that love will be enough
She still believes when he begs her for forgiveness
And the candle in the window burns for love

Strong wind blowing on the dark hot pavement
If you listen close behind the rustling leaves
You’ll hear soft crying by a candle in the window
Loud thunder claps and it’s pouring angry rain

She always lights a candle in the window
Saying a prayer for the woman she once was
Who is this love whose eyes become a stranger
And the candle in the window burns enough

Fingers tremble orange leaves swirling on the pavement
Blue lights flash moving far beyond the trees
Her bag is waiting as she stumbles to the window
One thing left to do and she’s making her escape

She’s blowing out the candle in the window
Locking the door - oh it’s so hard not looking back
She’ll face the sun and find which way the wind blows
‘til the candle in the window fades to black

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Josie and Bob,

As always, good song! The piano sounds a little odd in the beginning. It could be artifacts from the mp3 compression, or it may possibly be some tempo stretching that is causing it. It's not as noticeable once the other instruments come in more fully. (And the song still sounds good!) The song is really good, and you did a really good job on the vocals!

Again, you guys make a great songwriting team! Keep it up!

Steve


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Hey Steve,
Thank you for listening and the nice comments. I'll check the piano tomorrow to see if I hear what you're hearing - my ears have had it for today - I'm sure you've been there. The mp3 was done in Audacity with Lame at 320. The native track tempo is 120 and the song is 116.

Bob saw a news story and had an idea with some lines for a song called "Battered" - I liked the idea and rewrote it with a title I was going to use for another song - so here we are. It was an intense song to write because I've known a couple of women in iffy situations and just watched a Lifetime movie about an awful case of battering a few weeks ago.

Am I ready to write something lighthearted now - you betcha.

Thanks again.

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All I can say is excellent!


John

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Hi Josie and Bob,

My goodness! With song, you've just raised the bar even higher if that's at all possible.

I really, really like the lyric technique used in this song. A non-rhyming verse, with discreet use of occasional inner-rhymes, that leads into a rhyming chorus. It's a great format for adding emotional oomph to lyrics. This technique has been used very successfully in some Neil Diamond, Carpenters and George Gershwin songs. I guess those names speak for themselves

I notice that you ask for thoughts on this song. I don't know if this one will be useful or not. A small thing that occurred to me as I listened was the second line of the second chorus. I found myself wondering if you'd tried reversing 'once' and 'was'. To my ears, finishing the line with 'once' might work well with its partner rhyme 'enough'. As already stated, though, this is nothing more than a thought.

I've got to say that the mix is excellent and, Josie, your singing is absolutely perfect for this song. It worked for me incredibly well. I love the sound of your voice. I was there with you in the song for the entire journey. Beautiful writing on all levels.

Wow!

All the best,
Noel

Last edited by Noel96; 06/05/11 01:31 PM.

MY SONGS...
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Quote:

It was an intense song to write because I've known a couple of women in iffy situations and just watched a Lifetime movie about an awful case of battering a few weeks ago.




Hi Josie and Bob,
This is a very hard subject to write about. Being up close to a situation like this I know it's almost impossible to write something that's not to intense or graphic. It's a very painful and all too real topic. You did a great job of telling a story and not an incident. It's hard not to go over the edge with this subject. Well done.

One more time, "Bob and Josie", you two are on a roll here. You are such a great team. I never was able to make anything work with someone else. I'm sure it was me. I look forward to any new song you post. As soon as I see something new you post I zip right over to hear it.

Josie, I’ve always loved your voice, but there’s a little something in this track that makes me love your singing more. I won’t compare you to anyone else. I don’t like doing that, but I love to hear you sing like I love to hear some of my other favorite singers. I hope that came out right. I tend to comment myself into a corner sometimes.

Bottom line is that this is another great song to listen to and enjoy. I still listen to the Drivin song all the time. What can I say, I’m hooked.

Well done and thanks for sharing this as always, Wayne, (sorry for this being so long)

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John,
Thank you! Means a lot.

Noel,
You are a writer's writer - I love the way you spot techniques in your critiques. Actually the once was could have been reversed but I didn't think of that. Thank you for making my day with such great feedback on the mix and vocals too. Bob and I appreciate it.

Wayne,
Your insights are right on and I'm glad the song struck the right balance. I'm so happy you like the vox - I've yet to get it exactly how I want it to sound in a mix. Bob and I appreciate your support. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.


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You've done it again! Josie, you and Robert make a great songwriting team. I really loved the song, the arrangement and of course your vocals. Top notch production.
Marty


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Hey Marty,

Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it. Bob and I appreciate your feedback.

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Another winner here! Well written and constructed. Very well done for the topic at hand. Great job to you both!

Dan

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Hi All,

I just wanted to jump in and say thanks as well. Josie and I really appreciate all the feedback and support this group provides. It's great to be able make and share our music...

Bob

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WOW – the dynamic duel strikes again!

It’s all been said.

Two thumbs up!


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Very nice song. Well sung and well produced. I never would have thought that non rhyming lines would work but you pulled it off beautifully. I enjoyed. Tom

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Josie, Bob - I love this production - Josie I have a vision of you sitting at a piano on the concert stage performing this. The song feels very big, but you've managed to keep it intimate.
The lyrics paint quite a potential video - a director's dream,
Much enjoyed -

Ian


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Dan,
Bob and I always appreciate you taking the time to listen and your thoughts. Thank you.

Mario,
Dynamic Duel - LOL - luckily Bob and I haven't decided to shoot one another yet. That made me laugh.
Not saying Bob might not have thought about it - just kidding.
Seriously, we appreciate you lots. Glad you enjoyed the song.

Tom,
Thank you so much. Bob and I appreciate that.


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Hey Ian,

Wow you made our day. Thank you!

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Hi Josie & Bob,

It must have been a problem with my internet connection. When I listened again just now, the piano sounds much better. I think Soundclick re-encodes mp3's to 128. I know they did to my songs when I used them. At any rate, this is a real first rate composition (and production). Your voice is superb on this song. Like you said, this subject matter is very tough. As a minister, I have dealt with abused women many times over the years, and it is such a horrible thing.

BTW, if you and Bob do decide to duel, perhaps you could video it and sell tickets. (My money is on you.)

Steve


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Um... yeah. Not sure what all the hype is here. The vox are too mellow to be edgy and too close to discordant to be sweet. Seems like the type of song they play at volume at Waldbaum's while I'm picking through bruised fruit. That's not a bad thing mind you, just a wry observation. I just can't seem to attain the emotional thrust to reach the plane this work encompasses.

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Hey PR,

Thanks for listening. I like mangoes - they don't bruise too easy.

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The title and the 1st chords made me think of a song written by a Reg Dwight in his flamboyant alter ego BUT once you started singing I then thought of /heard Joni Mitchell and so thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the song.

keep 'em coming!!

Alyn

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