You cannot adjust the level of individual drums in the RealDrums kit.

You could apply an equalizer somewhere in the chain and tame the upper end where the offending snare resides, but you would also dampen any other instruments in the same frequency range.

If you know what this means, set a small value of Q and hunt for the precise sound of the snare that bothers you. Although a snare hit crosses a lot of frequencies, it depends a lot on the kit and the dynamics used by the player. Perhaps you'll find one that helps. Unfortunately, it could be different for different beats and styles, and players, requiring much attention one-by-one, as you say.

By any chance, is it the shots and pushes in particular that bother you? If so, that can be adjusted somewhat. Write back for more info.

Good luck.

BIAB 2025 Win Audiophile. Software: Studio One 7 Pro, Swam horns, Acoustica-7, Notion 6, Song Master Pro, Win 11 Home. Hardware: Intel i9, 32 Gb; Roland Integra-7, Presonus 192 & Faderport 8, Royer 121, Adam Sub8 & Neumann 120 monitors.