Quote:

There is a gentleman on these boards whom I once respected for his talent, knowledge, and experience. Despite that, I have avoided engaging with him because of his hairtrigger violent temper. Recently I made some comments in a discussion of which he was part. I would say that we crossed swords, except that I didn't have one drawn. My remarks were general, but he chose to take them personally and respond in kind.

In 2007 or 2008 there was a lengthy and heated political discussion here centering on the American presidential election campaign. I got into it with another member regarding our opposing views. "Heated" is an understatement. We went at each other for days. Many were amazed that the discussion wasn't deleted.

The difference is, it never got personal. We were able to stick to principles and avoid calling names. We never agreed, but we parted peaceably. We are not friends--we don't know each other well enough--but we are friendly and, I think, share mutual respect.

I do not see that as a possible outcome in this case. I considered responding point by point but realized that I was not dealing with a rational mind. I said what I needed to say there and have set that individual to Ignore.

I realize that I don't always come across well in the cold medium of electronic communications. (Few people do.) In fact, I have significantly compromised myself in at least two corporate situations in which my online words were misinterpreted and used against me. What I have learned from that, mainly, is to remain silent whenever I am in doubt. It is not conducive to open and honest communication, but I get to keep my job.

I didn't think this was that kind of environment. Mostly people here are well mannered and have the sense to recognize when a subject is worth arguing over--which is almost never.

But just to be clear, if I ever have an issue with someone, be assured that that individual will know it. I will call them by name, publicly or privately as I see fit, and have at it, but based on issues, not suppositions or perceived character flaws.

Mostly I'm preachin' to the choir, I know. Why not assume that the other guy means well and keep it civil in the first place? And if you're still fixin' ta shoot, why not parley first? If there are any questions about my intentions, ask.

Richard


Why is this not between 'the gentelman' and you via PM's? I never understood these kinds of threads for public consumption. But that's me I guess.

Dan

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