Hi Ian,

I just realized that I haven't yet comment on this song. I thought I had because I listened to the music a little while back. Old age, I guess!

There's an awful lot to like about this song You're lyrics won me! I was captivated by your fresh and vivid imagery. Very very inventive lines in here. You're a fine wordsmith! My one suggestion would be to see if changing "starting" in the last line of the chorus to "wanting" or "waiting" makes the song stronger. The reason I suggest this is because for me, the song went from "yippee I'm free!", in the early verses, to "being free is not all it's cracked up to be", in the final verse. To my mind, "waiting" (or "wanting") can take shades of meaning from "it's about to happen" to "I'm really hoping it's going to happen". In this way, the chorus would serve all three verses and this simple word change might make the song stronger. Then again, it might not! Just a thought It's just that I found myself wondering if "starting" is as versatile in meaning as, say, "waiting" so I'm passing it on for what it's worth.

By the way, I love the twist at the end. Also, the emotion of this song is beautifully supported by 7-line verses (which throw one a little bit of kilter and thus enhance the feeling of "not quite so happy after all"). And then you discreetly use some non-perfect rhymes that further enhance this emotion. In my opinion, this is top notch songwriting! It's a great song, Ian.

All the best,
Noel

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