I don't have any problem with the freezing and Real Drums but I'm using XP, maybe this is another Vista thing?
Please describe exactly how and why you need the Conductor, are you working with mostly a solo singer or a choir or both? I'm pretty familiar with it and could probably give you some suggestions there. If you need the flexibility of the Conductor then Real Band is out because it doesn't have that function.
With multiple monitors to shoot the changes to other players, you've got a pretty sophisticated setup going there. I think I would be inclined to simply print out the charts using Biab, less electronics to blow up at precisely the wrong time. If the players are any good, they can follow you if you use the Conductor to jump to a chorus or something. Just write A, B, C etc for the song sections on the chart in big black caps, they'll find you.
As much as I love the Real Tracks, in a loud and boisterous church the RT's are almost irrelevant. A good midi synth like the Ketron sounds great, it gives instant load times and allows for precise midi arrangements. Many of us have done live gigs using the lowly old VSC. In a noisy live venue even that sounds pretty good. Something to consider. The RT's sound great in a quiet recording studio or jazz lounge situation but a rockin church is far from that.

Bob

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