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An American was touring Wales, and upon entering a hotel in one town, noticed the words, “tam htab” written on the mat.
“Ah!” he said, “I suppose that’s Welsh for Welcome.”
“No, sir,” replied the doorman. “That’s the bath mat upside down.”
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while in germany, there was one particular club band that played and sang u s of eh and brit r&r so well that i thought they were yanks or brits so, during a break, i had the waitress invite them to our table only to learn that they couldn't speak a word of english. they had mastered the lyrics phonetically!
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I wasn't going to post this...but every time I think of it, it still makes me chuckle after 40+ years.
Being on the road for many years, one of our favorite things to do after a gig, was to go eat Chinese. We had favorite restaurants in every city. In Chicago, at one of our favorites, we always had (for over a year) the same elderly Chinese waiter. He would always, almost forcefully, suggest "Takasuni" (pronounced Tah-Kah Sunny). We had never seen it on any menu in any Chinese restaurant we had ever been to, and we had considered ourselves "experts" in Chinese dining. We were afraid. however, to be this adventurous. (Who knows what could be in it???) One night we finally decided to go whole hog. We all burst into laughter when he arrived with our chocolate sundae!!!!
Last edited by Mick Emery; 10/09/11 10:57 AM.
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hahahaha
"Takasuni" is hilarious! I'm glad you decided to post it! (why would you NOT?)
And "Ken Lee" is equally side-splitting!
In fact ALL of these stories are great.
I don't see them as stories that make fun of anyone.. I see them as examples of a very common theme in the human experience: the challenge of expressing ourselves in a way that the audience clearly understands.
I hope this thread continues for a long time. Thanks to Don Gaynor for starting it.
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Quote:
The one that gets me is from Americans making up a new word for talking...
i.e. - we were "conversating". 
josie, another similar thing that curls my armpit hair is the "verbifying" of nouns and pronouns...to wit: googling; skyping; texting; youtubing; ad infinitum.
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Quote:
Quote:
i knew that...y'bloody bloke, know-it-all!
keith, how's my oz-speak?
mac, my dear friend, holster yer hardware! i'm just pushing yer leg!
Well done, Don.
Consider yourself an honourary Aussie... mate!
keith, my dear oz pal/buddy/bloke/amigo/amico/ami/mate, i may be presumptuous but, you mis-spelled "CORNsider!"
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Wha' abou' sparfin' the grunion?
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Well the grunion is a fish, but why anyone would want to sparf it with a #10 spanner, is beyond me. Batter it and fry it ok but sparf it, it's obscene.
Chris
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i was thinkin' - yes, irishmen do think on occasion in spite of what you may have heard to the contrary - how about recycling words that have fallen into dis-use(izata word?). i'll kick it off and y'all uns can come in on bar 17 (keeping this thread "music-related):
WORDS THAT CAN BE RECYCLED
spats: the white canvas covers that men wore on their shoes. (way kewl)
fob: i.e. watch fob. a sort of lanyard attached to a pocket watch (qv)
milk bottle: a glass container (qv) that milk and other beverages came in. recycling meant simply washing the bottles before refilling them.
ice cream: a frozen dessert made from fresh dairy cream. since replaced by frozen gar gum and artificial flavo(u)rs.
i'm certain that you clever folks can add many more. and, by the way, don't forget to "wind" (qv) your watch.
don't forget to defrost (qv) the refrigerator.
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Don
normally I like word challenges... but I'm not sure where you're going with this.
What do you mean "words that can be recycled"?
I don't get the connection between your examples and recycling
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pat, i'm thinking "expendable" but i had my tongue firmly planted in cheek. don't take it too seriously however, i recently renewed my poetic license with a murdercycle endorsement. as dr. gannon would say: "have fun, eh!"
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Hi guys, I'll dare to participate in this thread, so here are my 2 cents: When you come to Spain and want to tell anyone you're going to have dinner, just say: BOY AS N R ...it sounds like "Voy a cenar" in spanish (as an american would say it, of course  If you liked that here you have some more... http://www.isma.ws/textos/?id=5&x=alfcheers 
Last edited by Alberto Garay; 10/11/11 08:03 PM.
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Quote:
Hi guys,
...it sounds like "Voy a cenar" in spanish (as an american would say it, of course
In fact it's more like most south-americans or mexicans would say it, as in Spain we pronounce "c" with our tongue between our teeth, and not as an "s"
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alberto, a sincere welcome to these forums and to this thread in particular. it's wonderful to examine our english language from a spanish-speaking perspective.i am certain that you find a lot of humo(u)r in our slaughter (murder) of our native tongue as, i am sure, that we see/hear in the spanish language. i have a wonderful nurse's aide, tracy, "from the mexican tribe" (her words) who is trying to teach me mexican spanish. i am a terrible student but we have a lot of fun.
incidentally, the hostess in a mexican restaurant asked if i wanted some "free hollies and nachos" and i said: "si, anything for free!" i ate five "free" servings. those darned mexicans had the audacity to charge me for them!
we offered a 10% senior discount where i worked when a young mexican gentleman came in and demanded his discount by explaining that he was a "senor." he got it!
"TENJOOBERRYMUDS".
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On a highway construction project, in which the road had been torn up for years, someone put up a handmade sign reading:
“Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out in one and a half billion years. It is sad that this contractor will have to finish working in the dark.”
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i have often wondered how many syllables in Worcestershire, fahv or nahn? oh, i'm having fun now! this has to be illegal, immoral, or fattening! i dearly love languages.
Don, only three actually: 'Wus-stuh-sher'.
John
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I love the Oz language of Strine.A famous author was supposedly signing books for his adoring public at a book shop event. He asked the next lady in the queue who she would like her copy dedicated to. She replied: 'Emma Chizzit'. So he wrote in the inside cover of the next book: 'Best wishes to Emma Chizzit'. She wasn't at all impressed and instead shouted at him: 'Nah! Emma Chizzitt?' John
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During WW2 an American pilot was shot down, and taken to an Australian hospital in pretty bad condition.
After waking from a coma, he surveyed his injuries and said to the nurse "Was I brought here to die?"
The Australian nurse replied "No..... you were brought here yester-die"
Cheers,
Keith
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good on'ya keith! i studied oz-speak by watching steve erwin the "crocodile hunter," on tvoy, by crackie!
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
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We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
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Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
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We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
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Learn more about the Bonus PAKs!
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