Bob-
Thanks for taking the time to reply. In the meantime I FINALLY answered my own question. For others with the problem: In the Options menu there is a Midi tab under Preferences I think (sorry, not at my BIAB computer so I don't remember which one but there are only 3). In it is a choice to select to NOT load the patches that come with the song. And this choice I found works semi-permanently until you change it back, e.g. every song you load subsequently will keep the patches you had selected in your VST (which until this fix had been overridden by the song's patches every time I loaded a song.. grrrrrrrrr.)
And thanks Bob for the reminder to others about the need for patch maps for non GM VST's. I had found such a map on the BIAB website specifically for Edirol Super Quartet and if you follow the instructions it works fine. When you click the "+" next to the patch names on BIAB it will indeed pull up the list of non GM patches corresponding to the VST you loaded to pick from (or you can make the changes in your VST interface directly). I just wish the non GM picks you made in the + window would show up in the patch name window when you get out of the + window. But I ask too much...

Bob
Anyway, problem solved.