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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 62
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 62 |
Hey Everyone, It has been a long time since I posted a song. This song was written by a friend of mine. All the instruments are from realtracks, alot of copying and pasting to get it the way I thought it would sound good. Instruments used: RealDrums-NashvilleEven8 518 Bass Electric 364 Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking 368 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming 892 Piano, Acoustic 1543 Synth Pad 1542 Piano 1219 Vibes and added a sound wav of wind chimes I need some suggestions and any constructive ideas on the song, I always value your input. Here is the link: www.dannyriddle.com/music/TwoHeartsInLove-VOCAL.mp3Thanks! Danny
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 178
Apprentice
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 178 |
Hi Danny, what can I say, a very meaningful song, great mix and arrangement and a vocal thats right in your face. I enjoyed listening to this. Quite well done to these old ears
Cheers
Nels
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,475
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Absolutely one fantastic song! “Two hearts in love can stop the hands of time”, WOW what a great line!
Super mix, great lyrics and an outstanding vocal performance.
This is a keeper – two thumbs up.
The bumper sticker said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal".
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Joined: Jun 2010
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Expert
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Expert
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,987 |
Totally agree. Great lyrics, and performance! Like Mario said, this one's a keeper!
Steve
Steve Young Music"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann
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Joined: May 2008
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Joined: May 2008
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Sweet song and kept me with you right through the whole story.
Well done.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,726
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Danny that is a very nice song. The mix is clean, and clear. The vocals are just right in the mix. There are a few slightly flat notes in the vocal. Nothing glaring, only on the lowest notes, the high stuff is right on. I seem to get a few of those especially in a song where the vocal is so exposed as in this one, usually because it is very difficult to get the correct amount of air under a low note. I was particularly moved by the lyric, very tender. I believe as was said this is a keeper, and i could see this on the radio. The last chorus is especially stellar!
Very good song!
Last edited by Robh; 10/30/11 10:16 PM.
HP Win 11 12 gig ram, Mac mini Sonoma with 16 gig of ram, BiaB/RB 2026, Reaper 7, Harrison Mixbus 11 , Presonus Audiobox USB96
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You've done a great job with this. Handling the back and forth of the conversation is a bit tricky, but I can't think of better way to do it.
The only thing I'll suggest is that the chorus should be sung all the way through. The chorus is sung until you get to the lyric "But two hearts in love/can stop the hands of time", where you drop back to speaking, and then sing the rest of the chorus.
Really excellent work on the lyrics.
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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Hi Danny, This composition is absolutely sensational. The melody, harmony, and your performance are a perfect fit for the lyrics. I heard these lyrics as a wonderfully sensitive treatment of dementia or Alzheimer's disease. They are incredibly well written. I agree with David in that I don't how the to and fro of conversation could be better treated. How it's been done is very effective. You asked for some suggestions ... One thing that I can think of that might help to make the hook pop out a little more is to use what poets call a spondee (a metrical foot that consists of two long syllables - like "Some-where" in "Somewhere Over The Rainbow") To explain ... Presently, the phrase "But two hearts in love" has the "But two" occurring on beat 4½ and "hearts" on beat 1 of the next bar. To my ears, the rushed singing of "But two" seemed to take a bit of juice out of the power of the phrase. What I'd try is to put "but" on beat 4½ and then spread the hook out over two bars. (Please see the diagram below that attempts to explain what I mean.) Having a pause after "love" will work fine because the phrase "Two hearts in love" does not sound complete and aches to be ended; the listener will wait and the payoff is all the more sweet because of the wait!  NOTE: I've tried to align the beats and half-beats with the appropriate syllable.This will probably require adding an extra bar to the chorus. If that results in making the chorus an uneven number of bars, don't worry about it as that will help add to the emotional intensity of the song. (A great of example of how odd-bar sections can increase emotional intensity is The Beatles song, "Yesterday". The verse sections of this song are 7 bars long.) Hope these thoughts provide a springboard for inspiration  Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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OP
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Hey Everyone, Thanks so much for taking the time to listen to the song. I love playing around with the real tracks, there is so much that can be done with it! It took several weeks to get the tracks on the song to sound the way I thought they would sound ok, and I am glad that paid off. Thanks david and noel for some great ideas and some inspiration to try somethings new with this one. I also value constructive ideas to help me along the way. Thanks again! "Two Hearts In Love Can STOP The Hands Of Time" All my best Danny
Last edited by DRiddle; 11/01/11 05:07 PM.
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Very nice song! Thanks for sharing! My Music
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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