Okay, Joan, you REALLY need a mixer here thatyou can plug an actual mic into. The best you will ever do with any kind of handheld will be audio about the quality of those awful youtube videos people make of their friend playing at the local bar. Tinny, grainy, overdriven, distorted...

None of it will be free or even cheap, but the results will be of much higher quality. This is a job for Mr Craigs List and his wife Ms E Bay. A small 8 channel mixer and a decent quality mic will do wonders for you here.