Howdy!

These are just my opinions, and I could be wrong about many of them. Keep in mind that these are coming from someone who hasn't posted a song with lyrics (yet), so apply grain of salt liberally.

Hopefully you'll find something useful in this batch:
  • It sounds like you're straining to hit some of the notes. Change the key to something that's a better match for your voice.
  • It sounds like you're flat in spots. GSnap is free, and works with RealBand.
  • It's better to re-record than to auto-tune your vocals. Fortunately, GSnap will show you where your pitch is relative to the "true" pitch if you have trouble hearing where you're off.
  • The fingerpicked guitar is too busy, and gets in front of the vocals. Once the song starts, drop it.
  • Cut the intro down to a few seconds, or drop it completely.
  • Add a strummed guitar to the mix to give it more drive.
  • Everything sounds the same. Change up the instruments more so the verses are more distinct from the chorus.
  • The vocals are too far in the background. They should be the central point of the song.
  • When the guitar takes the lead (at 1:40) it should be in the front of the mix.
  • There's dead air in spots, such as 0:27, 0:39 and 2:37. Figure out how to make them disappear.
  • In some spots (like 3:11) the vocals just seem to fade out.
  • 5:30 is too long. Edit the song down to 3:30.
  • There are two guitar solos in the song. Drop the long one. Maybe the short one as well.
  • You could cut the chorus down to the first two lines, or just the last line, and not lose anything. As it currently is, it feels too long.
  • The drums feel weak to me.