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I'm working on a humorous cover of 'Cocaine'. I have a couple of lines but now I'm stuck. Brain lock. I wonder if some of you good, creative, folk could throw out some hair loss related one liners? Get my brain working again (if that's possible).
Here's a couple if lines I thought of.
If your scalp's shining through, and your wife won't do you; Rogaine.
If your head's getting slick, and you can't get a chick; Rogaine.
Any ideas are appreciated.
Paul
Last edited by pwarren; 01/19/12 10:57 AM.
BiaB 2013 b366, RB 2013 b4, WinXP Pro SP3, Toshiba M70, 1.8GHz 2GB RAM 100GB HD. Focusrite Saffire 6 USB, Ketron SD2. BiaB Wiki
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I hope you don't mind me re-purposing your "scalp" rhyme: Really needing help with that thinning on your scalp?Combover like Mr. Trump got you feeling in the dump?Are the last few of your follicles somehow thinning into molecules?Wishin' that your karetin would appear up there again?Concerned you'll fail in that enthralled kiss because of male pattern baldness?Androgenic alopecia giving you Encephalomalacia?With that last one, I better stop already...  Thanks goodness for on-line rhyming dictionaries! (Looks like the "follicles/molecules" has been done many times before).
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Quote:
Thanks goodness for on-line rhyming dictionaries!
That site really removed the mental block. Thanks. 'course I don't mind reading some other one liners. Maybe something better than what I have already will show up.
BiaB 2013 b366, RB 2013 b4, WinXP Pro SP3, Toshiba M70, 1.8GHz 2GB RAM 100GB HD. Focusrite Saffire 6 USB, Ketron SD2. BiaB Wiki
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Quote:
Maybe something better than what I have already will show up.
Ouch! You really know how to hurt a guy! 
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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David,
I think you may have forgotten the lyrics and melody of "Cocaine", by Eric Clapton.
Substitute "Rogaine" for "Cocaine".
Your lyrics don't work.
Try something like:
"If your beanie is bald and you're ... far short from tall, ... Rogaine!
If the oil on your scalp, ... can fry a baby cow, ... Rogaine".
Etc, LOL.
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If the shine on your dome, ... reminds you of Chrome,... Rogaine. 
--=-- My credo: If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing - just ask my missus, she'll tell ya  --=--You're only paranoid if you're wrong!
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Where you used to have hair, ... it's now getting quite bare, ... Rogaine What was your crowning glory, ... now is looking quite gory, ... Rogaine  Kevin
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Quote:
I think you may have forgotten the lyrics and melody of "Cocaine", by Eric Clapton.
No, I was just being silly. 
But thanks!
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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there's a comedian on youtube who does a bunch of remakes of songs with revised lyrics that are more significant to aging baby boomers
one of them is about rogaine. I searched briefly but didn't find it, and I have to go to work. if you want to look for it, Keywords might be
rogaine
songs for old boomers
standup comedy
the whole routine is quite clever... he parodies more songs than just Cocaine
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Quote:
Quote:
Maybe something better than what I have already will show up.
Ouch! You really know how to hurt a guy!
That wasn't my intention. I hate it when I make a comment that was unclear. I mean't your suggestions and link broke my mental block and I was able to come up with some lines that will work. However, they aren't perfect and maybe some additional ideas will trigger some improvement. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I really was grateful to you for getting me over the brain freeze.
BiaB 2013 b366, RB 2013 b4, WinXP Pro SP3, Toshiba M70, 1.8GHz 2GB RAM 100GB HD. Focusrite Saffire 6 USB, Ketron SD2. BiaB Wiki
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Quote:
If the shine on your dome, ... reminds you of Chrome,... Rogaine.
hahaha I'm liking that one.
BiaB 2013 b366, RB 2013 b4, WinXP Pro SP3, Toshiba M70, 1.8GHz 2GB RAM 100GB HD. Focusrite Saffire 6 USB, Ketron SD2. BiaB Wiki
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Quote:
the whole routine is quite clever... he parodies more songs than just Cocaine
I'm sure it's been done many times. This is just me trying to have some fun. The 2012 version of BiaB finally gave me the tools to try something like this. I don't have a particularly good voice but with a little compression and EQ I can sound a bit better than fingernails on a blackboard. lol
BiaB 2013 b366, RB 2013 b4, WinXP Pro SP3, Toshiba M70, 1.8GHz 2GB RAM 100GB HD. Focusrite Saffire 6 USB, Ketron SD2. BiaB Wiki
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Quote:
Where you used to have hair, ... it's now getting quite bare, ... Rogaine
Good one Kevin.
To everyone who posted, thanks. I knew I could count on this community to post some ideas that would break my brain lock.
If you got a bald patch, you wanna regrow the thatch; Rogaine
BiaB 2013 b366, RB 2013 b4, WinXP Pro SP3, Toshiba M70, 1.8GHz 2GB RAM 100GB HD. Focusrite Saffire 6 USB, Ketron SD2. BiaB Wiki
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No offense taken, thanks! I was just kidding around about it - I know that wasn't what you intended. Glad you got over the block!
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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If the hair in your nose, is all that you grows Rogaine
If there's more in your ear ,or down on your rear Rogaine
When you take off your hat it scares the sh_t out your cat Rogaine
If your hair is loose ,you better grab some booze and Rogaine
If your head is slick and your toupee won't stick Rogaine
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