Such GREAT advice, and even more, a reason to rekindle my belief in mankind that you would all offer such great advice, much of it based on your real life experiences. I have read everything carefully at least twice, and you are all the best ever for supporting me! Even you, Mike, even though you are from Pittsburgh where that team in black and gold lives.

All of this will pass. It may take some time, but it will pass. In the meantime, I accept the challenge and will start working on lyrics for "Better Days Will Come" today.

I don't know if I am frustrated or angry, and the anger would be directed inwardly. I make some bad decisions and then what it comes time to pay I don't handle it well. The emotional part of this stemmed from my having to say goodbye to a woman who I met about a year ago, and we became very good friends, but it reached a point where "friend" wasn't going to be good enough. Given the dynamics of the situation, "more than friends" just isn't in the cards. We live rather far away, she works 2 jobs and plays in 2 bands, and her kids are both involved in SO much that she is mom's taxi as well. The kicker though is that I was literally already out of high school when she was born, and that age gap is insurmountably huge. It did give me a song called "From A Distance", explaining how being forced to stay at a distance and keep it inside really stinks. An example of a song that is written but I have no interest in recording it. Maybe it's too painful of a song. I know that "The One That Got Away" was like that. I must have run that tune 100 times before I got desensitized to the lyrics enough to sing it through without breaking down.

On the health side, I will be 61 in 2 months and the effects of the diabetes are becoming much more pronounced, to the point where I will likely start losing toes and other appendages within the next year or so. The neuropathy is really bad at times and that is the last stop before the amputations start. And every friend I had who was diabetic was gone by age 67, some earlier. That doesn't bode well.

Financial difficulty started a year ago when I lost my job. I was off for 3 months, and when I did find a job it was for a very low pay rate and while I was able to keep my mortgage, car payments and utilities current (I was never late or never missed even ONE payment) 4 unsecured credit accounts totally fell apart. I arranged a buyout with one, am paying off a settlement on another, and I am in contact with the last 2 in efforts to make a settlement with them. Nonetheless, my credit score took a HUGE hit and that is depressing after working so hard to improve it to where I could buy my house in 2009. I would really like to sell this one and move to a better neighborhood but my credit prevents that.

The neighborhood part ties into that. My neighbor has not made a house payment in 29 months, and they have finally been foreclosed and will be evicted by the end of June. The house will then go up for sale in repossession, and who knows WHAT my next neighbor is going to be. My dog, in her whole 5 years here, has known she is allowed to go next door and play with the neighbor dog, including going in the house. Have you ever tried to UNtrain a dog and break her of something she has done for 5 years? I have already gone through the expense of putting in an outdoor kennel, and next have to put up stockade fence, but that's not the point. I am incurring all of this because someone else thought cranking out 2 welfare babies and buying 2 new cars was more important than their mortgage, and now our neighborhood is at risk of being ruined by an undesirable person buying that house.

And in a nutshell, that is what's at the root of my funk.

Thank you all for your input!!