7) a walker with orange flame decals (or deckles to you Canucks)
8) a Foley bag replete with a year's supply of DIY catheters
9) a good supply of Depends
10) a denture cup
11) a lanyard for your spectacles
12) large print TV Guide
13) ultra soft toilet paper
14) economy sized tubes of Preparation H (refer to #13 above)
15) a dear friend with a drivers' license
16) gallon jugs of Milk of Magnesia
17) a gross of hearing aide batteries (piles to you Brits)
18) a self locating TV remote (clap your hands and it beeps. (not to be confused with your house or car keys, they can be recognized by their distinct shapes and have a slightly different beep which sounds identical to the microwave)
19) dartboard for used insulin syringes
20) a lifetime AARP membership (or 6 months, whichever comes first)
21) a DIY guide to disinheriting your thankless progeny in large print with sample forms
22) a strategically bent paperclip for cleaning your ears at the dinner table
23) a battery-powered nose/ear hair trimmer to use during TV commercials