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#162163 06/10/12 07:37 PM
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rsdean Offline OP
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Hey All,

Here's a new one from Josie and I. All BIAB/RT's and mixed in Garageband. Thanks for listening and we hope you enjoy it!

These Stone Walls

Bob

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Hi Josie and Bob,

AABA form is such a great song form. It's one that I always love listening to. In my opinion, this form great for capturing a single moment in time. Given the "protest era" vibe of these lyrics and that AABA was the predominant song form used at that point in time, you've managed to capture the sound and musical feel of a generation really well.

I also found myself greatly admiring the elegant simplicity of the lyrics. I like the development of the pictures you paint.

All the best,
Noel


MY SONGS...
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You captured a big sound here. Good alt-country. I like it.


My music can be heard at: The Cracks
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Hey Noel,

Thanks so much for your kind words and detailed review. That means a lot to us.

Bob

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jptjptjpt,

Hi. Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. We're very glad you enjoyed it!

Bob

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I love it, as usual! Great example of economy in lyrics, you don't need a lot of words to tell your story. Thank you for sharing!

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Well to misquote Robert Frost "stone walls make good neighbors." LOL.
Just kidding. Good one guys.
Simple lyrics but very effective.

Tim

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Hey Tommy,

Thanks very much! We appreciate the feedback.

Bob

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Hi Tim,

I know that quote well... LOL! Thanks for your kind words.

Bob

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love the haunting overtones.
Great lyrics.

Well written and constructed.
Great mood song.

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Hey Rob,

Thanks. We really appreciate you taking the time to listen and provide your thoughts.

Bob

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Nice work Bob, Josie. I enjoyed that.


Songs web site
YouTube Channel
BIAB 2024
Cakewalk by BandLab
Studio One 7
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rsdean Offline OP
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Thank you John!

Bob

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Noel, Jpt, Tommy, Tim and Skyline,

Thank you guys for taking the time to listen and comment. I always appreciate your feedback.

This is definately one of our more Americana/Alt songs. Life being so hard for many these days it certainly could be taken as a protest but I was actually thinking more of a stalled frustrating relationship when I contributed to some of the lyrics. It's a sneaky little song that sticks in your head. I guess because we all face some kind of stone wall sooner or later.

Glad you all enjoyed it.

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Fabulous throughout.

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Don,

Thanks for listening - we appreciate that.

Bob

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nice song.

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Bob and Josie,

I have several comments, not just about this song but about your whole endeavor as a team. If I had to pick one word that describes your collaboration, it would be "STYLISH"

1) I really like the way you have styled your presentation. The web site looks very professional, not unlike what I'd expect to find if I went to the web site of somebody famous. Presenting your songs in that environment is head and shoulders above clicking a link and ending up on a soundcloud MP3 player.

2) I also like the way you have managed to create a recognizeable persona for your songs. There are so many people pushing songs online, and many of them sound like rubber stamps of all the other stuff. In contrast, if I listened to 10 songs by different musical teams, your style is distinctive enough to know which song is yours. That is a good thing. It's more than good, it is highly desirable.

3) You have both invested enough time in the software to actualize your ideas pretty quickly and get a good mix. A lot of people drop the ball in this area. They have good ideas, but can't seem to bring them to fruition. But your musical productivity is very high, and I respect that.

I admire what you are doing on so many levels that I almost hate to offer any observations that might be construed as negative in any way. But in my mind there is a difference between nasty criticism and constructive critique. For what its worth, here are my thoughts. Take them only as an opinion and not as a pronouncement of value.

To my ears there is a mismatch in the symmetry of your voices. Each one alone works great, but together I often hear segments where the stylish quality of the two voices go in different directions. I'll try to explain.

Bob, I love your voice. You've got that laid back Dylan groove going, and it works very well for you.

Josie, I love your voice. You've got sort of a Carly Simon motif that fits you very well.

What I would expect from this collaboration is an informal Sonny and Cher duo... all the right pieces are there. Unfortunately the stylized vocals that work well individually don't always mesh. Bob's style favors emphasis over intonation, and Josie's style favors intonation. Therefore there are times when Bob is relaxed in pitch while Josie is precise, and it ends up sounding like you can't decide how to mate the two vocal styles.

In other words, either Josie needs to follow Bob's relaxed intonation style so the difference in pitch is not noticeable, or Bob needs to rethink the Dylanesque presentation. I suggest actually LOOKING at the two vocal tracks side by side in Melodyne so you can manually adjust the notes to approximately the same tonal deviation. Making them autotune perfect would ruin the wonderful styism that you have going... all that's required here is SYMMETRY not perfect pitch

Sonny and Cher worked because they were both relaxed, and the pitch of the two voices stayed very close, even though neither was spot-on. I am not recommending that you depart from your highly stylized vocals, because I think that is a key strength of your collaboration. My only recommendation is that you specifically work on MATCHING the styles, if that makes any sense.

In conclusion, I think you both have a great thing going here. If you don't change a thing, you'll still have a home run. But IMO, specifically focusing on vocal symmetry will add something useful to your presentation.

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Pat - I want to thank you for saying what I wanted to say but was afraid (as the new guy in the showcase forum) that it would not be taken well.

You said exactly what I thought when I listened to this song (and the other songs I've listened to from this duo - I think I've listened to 3 of their songs so far).

I like Bob and Josie both - they're good folks, but their vocals need to be tighter and work more together than they currently do. I love the style, but tighten up the timing and pitch between the 2 sounds and your music will excel.

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Pat / Beagle,

Thanks for listening and for the feedback. Josie and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. It's all helpful and is also interesting to hear the different points of view.

Bob

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