Scanning through it, my (incredibly subjective) opinion is that the lines in bold are potentially problematic. They're "classic" rhymes, but feel out of place with the rest of the language:

Quote:

Once I was lost
Now I am found
You give me hope
And turn me around
You bring me up
You fill my cup
Whenever you’re next to me

This much is real
I finally feel
I am complete
I feel the earth beneath my feet
I am alive
And truly thrive
Whenever you’re next to me


The simplest solution that comes to mind is to simply ignore the rhyming scheme (which makes it a bit more interesting) and replace it with something that doesn't rhyme at all, or rhyme with the next line:

Once I was lost
With you I'm found
My guide, my map
You've turned my life around
You take me up
Where I can see
Whenever you’re next to me

Life finally feels
So much more real
I'm now complete
You've swept me off my feet
I've come alive
And soaring free
Whenever you’re next to me


Of course, I've pretty much rewritten everything and clobbered the meter of the song in the process.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?