Other Don, I assume that you realize that the melody is borrowed from Oh Solo Mio (Its Now Or Never - EP). If you have verified it to be in the Public Domain or otherwise have rights then you are fine.

As for your rendition, my immediate impression was that you need a higher key. At least two semitones. Later, it seemed like you made vocal adjustments in your expression and it all fit together better. Can't explain that.

I too, noticed several "word whiskers" mentioned by David so I won't belabor the point.

Thanks for the listen, my friend.