Brad,

You've got a lot of cool stuff going on here - mixed in with some "jumble" (or "stumble" - not sure what the right word is). I assume you really do want some comments(?)...

You're vocals are VERY COOL. And very well recorded (how do you do that? - you need to share). The over-all "sound" is also, quite cool... early Tom Waits (does it get any better than THAT?)

The instrumental break after the first verse - lose that (wrong place). You've got a neat instrumental after the "bridge" - where it should be.... that should be followed by the chorus to wrap it up....

I know you are in "speed song write" mode, so none of this will "matter"... but, you've got some cool stuff here... oooh, I already said that, didn't I...

floyd

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