RG,

As has been said... your productions are gettin' better all the time. The raw energy in both the instrumentation and the vocal is something few of us can achieve. It reminds of of early Stones. Certainly do not want to tell you "how to do your thing", but I think you could eliminate a lot of "pauses" that happen in this song, without it changing much at all, and make it flow better... and therefore keep your listener attached more easily.
Just my opinion, of course. Interseting lyrics, as always...
floyd