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Hi All This is a song I have been fighting with since the year 2000! It is the one and only song I wrote before undertaking a song writing course in October 2012. My course teacher told me that, in its old format, it had no hope…too wordy..melody too boring..chorus too boring.. much too personal (it is in fact inspired by a personal experience)..no wide appeal…too repetitive…..etc, etc.! But, all things go in circles and I got the inspiration to tackle it again a week or so ago and this is what I came up with. I chose a western swing theme (co-incidence that Don has also just published a western swing theme tune) and it seemed to fit the song quite nicely. The lyrics are on sound cloud Please let me know what you think so that I can learn. I appreciate anybody who takes the time to listen and comment. Realtrack are: RealTracks in style: ~~536:Bass, Acoustic, Pop Sw 120 RealTracks in style: ~~372:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank Sw 120 RealTracks in style: ~1128:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm WesternSwingWarmA-B Sw 165 RealTracks in style: ~812:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Western Swing Sw 165 RealTracks in song: ~~1788:Banjo, Tenor, Rhythm DixielandMediumA-B Sw 110 RealTracks in song: 1874:Medley [8 bars] Fiddle, Mandolin, Piano, ResGuitar, PedalStSol WestrnSwPaulSw165, GuitarElSol WestSwBrentSw165, RealDrums in style: NashvilleSwing8^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride Need you like a hole in the head
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Sounds like a fine piece from here, Love the way you ended the further down. Thanks for sharing! My Tunes
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Hi Jo
Enjoyed that. It could almost be the females point of view of Floyds "Sure Enough".
I liked some of the rhymes - "the wringer" and "get any bigger", "merry-go-round" and "futher (sic) down".
Well thought out choice for the BT - moved along nicely and carried the Story with it.
cheers
ian
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I love it, Jo! The Western Swing style is the proverbial icing on the cake and gives the song a sort of "signature".
This is not a negative observation but, I think the ending was a tad too abrupt. It left me suspended in mid air waiting to be let down gently. Maybe a fadeout ending would work a might better, I don't know.
I always love you comic treatment of your lyrics. You are a very clever lyricist.
I especially like the clarity in your voice. I could understand your every word. In a Rap & Mumble world, you are so refreshing, my little friend. More please!
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Nice song. Funny lyrics, lovely voice and a good choice
of backing tracks.
But I noticed sometimes the vocals lag a little
behind the beat.
Guenter
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I liked the song, and the arrangement is a nice fit. Pairing downer lyrics with an upbeat setting is classic, and it works well here.
I agree with the other posters, on both the positives and negatives. The vocals are nice and understandable. The song has neat "close" rhymes going on.
But... there are some places where the vocals lag a bit behind the instruments. This is the kind of song where you probably want the vocal to slightly lead the beat. I don't know what DAW you use, but little bit of nudging can often take care of that.
One of the guitars on the chorus seems to clash with the harmony - for example, at 2:25.
I don't think the ending is so much abrupt as it doesn't give the song closure. It's an interesting effect, but it's such a large change it overshadows what's gone before.
Anyway, nice work.
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Hey Joanne,
I like it. Clever down home lyrics and nice tune. Good arrangement. Your mixes are getting better all the time. Enjoyed the harmony and I like the ending. A creative and fun ending fits well in a song like this.
An easy timing trick is to turn the drums up a bit louder than the other instruments when recording vocals.
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Joanne,
Another cool song. Really enjoyed this...
Bob
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Hi Joanne,
I found the chorus to this song incredibly infectious (that's good thing!). You had me singing along after the first time through. Loved it!
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2025
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PGFantastic – thanks for giving it as listen and for commenting
Ian – thanks for the great comments. You are always so complimentary. Appreciate it
Don – I glad you enjoyed it. I am thinking about all the comments on the ending and may change it
Guenter and David. Thanks listening for the comments on the vocals lagging. I think I will try and rerecord the vocals first to see if that fixes the timing
Josie – thanks for the tip. I am going to try that
Bob and Noel – Thanks for the encouragement
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Good old western South African swing. Nice job Joanne.
HP Win 11 12 gig ram, Mac mini Sonoma with 16 gig of ram, BiaB 2025, Realband, Reaper 7, Harrison Mixbus 9 32c , Melodyne 5 editor, Presonus Audiobox 1818VSL, Presonus control app.
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Hi Rob. Never heard of Western South Africa swing but maybe there is a market for it....
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If there isn't there should be.
HP Win 11 12 gig ram, Mac mini Sonoma with 16 gig of ram, BiaB 2025, Realband, Reaper 7, Harrison Mixbus 9 32c , Melodyne 5 editor, Presonus Audiobox 1818VSL, Presonus control app.
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Quote:
Hey Joanne,
I like it. Clever down home lyrics and nice tune. Good arrangement. Your mixes are getting better all the time. Enjoyed the harmony and I like the ending. A creative and fun ending fits well in a song like this.
An easy timing trick is to turn the drums up a bit louder than the other instruments when recording vocals.
+ ONE here!
Nice job Joanne
Later,
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It has taken me a bit of time to get back to responding. Thanks for listening Danny I really appreciate it
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Dear Joanne !
I listened to all your tracks
and I must congratulate you as
IMO you are a very good songwriter,
player and singer !:)
If you are still aspiring on
any of those fields i wish
you the best of luck !
Cheers
Dani
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Nice melody, instrument choice, lyrics, voice and mix! As far as the vocal timing goes like Sundance said an increase in a simple drum groove or even a click track can help nail it. But.....the downside is that it might lend to a "follow the bouncing ball" type of singing. Maybe try a "loosey goosey" feel that works around the timing -- slightly syncopated, bend a few notes, etc. Thanks for the post.
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Dani - Thanks for listening to my songs. Still aspiring in most of those fields, I’m afraid.
Bud - thanks for listening. I am going to try and rerecord the vocals on this one. Listening to it now I can clearly hear my tendency to "hang behind" on the timing of the vocals. So hopefully there will be an improvement now that I am aware of it.
Regards
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PG Music Staff
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Hi Joanne! Great song, really enjoyed it. Thanks for uploading.
Have Fun!
Peter Gannon
PG Music Inc.
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