"Never mind the answer, what's the question?"

Forget the blues as such. Do the lyrics have meaning to you, and does the musical setting seem appropriate to you?

I found something in the vocal reminiscent of Elvis Costello. I happen to think the music fits what you're trying to do. Could be punched up, sure, but genre is not the issue.

We've discussed vocals elsewhere. Your delivery lacks force. The best thing you can do is to really belt it out. Concentrate on your breathing so that you're not running out of breath at the end of a line. There were spots where you were singing above your range, too; find those and change the notes. Then let's hear some emotion and conviction behind the performance!

Double the vocals several times too. Don't worry about harmony or tricks with panning. It will help smooth out the track and make you simplify the part as you try to duplicate your performance a couple of times, all to the good.

HTH,

R.

"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."