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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 2,217
Veteran
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Veteran
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 2,217 |
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In my opinion your words need a lot more than proofreading. Your English is correct, and yet not what we call "idiomatic." You have put words together in a way that may be correct according to the Berlitz textbook, and yet they do not reflect the way that native English speakers really talk.
For example, "Cos I don’t wanna be that girl, with whom you only play..." Your use of the phrase "with whom" is technically correct, but it sounds odd because this phrase is not used anymore in regular speech - certainly not in the kind of speech that boyfriends and girlfriends use with each other.
More generally, these lyrics are too complex and detailed to be catchy. Decide on a single theme, express it cleverly and briefly. Then stick to it. The whole part of the story about going on vacation can be left out, for instance.
I have sent you a PM. Check your mailbox.
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Entire Thread
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Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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stratocaster
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10/12/13 08:49 AM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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Mac
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10/12/13 01:58 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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stratocaster
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10/12/13 02:10 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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Danny C.
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10/12/13 02:34 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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Mac
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10/12/13 02:46 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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Flatfoot
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10/12/13 02:48 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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Flatfoot
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10/12/13 02:56 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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stratocaster
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10/12/13 05:06 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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Guitarhacker
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10/12/13 07:37 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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stratocaster
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10/12/13 09:18 PM
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Re: Proof reading my lyrics, please!
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stratocaster
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10/13/13 12:39 PM
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
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New! Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher for Mac!
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XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
New! Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher for Windows!
Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest and greatest in the all new Xtra Styles PAK 20 for Band-in-a-Box! This fresh installment is packed with 200 all-new styles spanning the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres you've come to expect, as well as the exciting inclusion of electronic styles!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Minimalist Modern Funk, New Wave Synth Pop, Hard Bop Latin Groove, Gospel Country Shuffle, Cinematic Synthwave, '60s Motown, Funky Lo-Fi Bossa, Heavy 1980s Metal, Soft Muted 12-8 Folk, J-Pop Jazz Fusion, and many more!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 20 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 209 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 20.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 20 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 20 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
New! XPro Styles PAK 9 for Band-in-a-Box 2025 and higher for Windows!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 9 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 29 RealTracks/RealDrums!
We've been hard at it to bring you the latest and greatest in this 9th installment of our popular XPro Styles PAK series! Included are 75 styles spanning the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres (25 styles each) that fans have come to expect, as well as 25 styles in this volume's wildcard genre: funk & R&B!
If you're itching to get a sneak peek at what's included in XPro Styles PAK 9, here is a small helping of what you can look forward to: Funky R&B Horns, Upbeat Celtic Rock, Jazz Fusion Salsa, Gentle Indie Folk, Cool '60s Soul, Funky '70s R&B, Smooth Jazz Hip Hop, Acoustic Rockabilly Swing, Funky Reggae Dub, Dreamy Retro Latin Jazz, Retro Soul-Rock Fusion, and much more!
Special Pricing! Until July 31, 2024, all the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 9 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 9 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Video: Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®: VST3 Plugin Support
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Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Macs®: VST3 Plugin Support
Video: Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®: Using VST3 Plugins
Join the conversation on our forum.
Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Mac Videos
With the release of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac, we’re rolling out a collection of brand-new videos on our YouTube channel. We’ll also keep this forum post updated so you can easily find all the latest videos in one convenient spot.
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We've packed our Free Bonus PAK & 49-PAK with some incredible Add-ons! The Free Bonus PAK is automatically included with most Band-in-a-Box® for Mac 2025 packages, but for even more Add-ons (including 20 Unreleased RealTracks!) upgrade to the 2025 49-PAK for only $49. You can see the full lists of items in each package, and listen to demos here.
If you have any questions, feel free to connect with us directly—we’re here to help!
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