Scott, I know exactly what you mean when you say "the light went on". That happened for me too when I finally started to understand the modes. At a certain point they all started to meld together for me and all of a sudden, wow, all the notes in my solos started to fit! That was a big deal for me.

I kind of have a convoluted way of looking at the modes, similar to how you view them, I think. If I want to play a Lydian mode I think of the scale of the 5th of the original chord. In other words, when I play a C Lydian scale I'm thinking of a G Major scale. It's just my way of thinking, warped as it may be, lol.

My biggest breakthrough, though, has been the use of arpeggios, thanks to our mutual friend Mac. He listened to a modal exercise I was playing on Youtube and he promptly said "play some arpeggios!" When Mac talks, I listen, lol.

Good luck in your jazz endeavors, Scott, what a trip it's going to be!