PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase SECOND DATE

Spurred on to write something different, after listening to Alyn's latest stuff, I came up with this. The idea came from a "Pop Art" poster. After weeks of putting together the backing, Courtney came in, learnt the song and laid down the vocals, including twelve tracks of oohs in under an hour. It's great working with professionals!

So here it is, with an "In Yer Face" mix and a rhyming scheme which should make Noel's head spin.

SECOND DATE
It's late, why don't you 'phone and why am I alone?
Is it something, something that I've done?
I know I'd hate to think that it's too late
And that you don't want another date.

I know I thought I saw, something there before
Something hiding, I thought that there was more
That look in your eyes, no one could disguise
And I was taken, taken by surprise.

The 'phone won't ring it's true, so what am I to do?
Perhaps it's bwoken, perhaps you can't get through
I'll just stay home and sit here on my own
Hoping one day, one day that you'll 'phone.

As usual, it's all in PowerTracks - still saving for my BiaB up-grade!

Thanks for listening.

ROG.

Aw, poor Courtney!
Great sound, and jumpy, jerky lyrics that are just the ticket.
As you say, nicely In Yer Face. Full on and proud.
Loved the thing!
Loved the use of "bwoken" and yes I can hear Courtney "smiling" as she voices the lyric. Did you have Shaking Stevens in mind for this! lol!!
Merry Christmas to you, your recordingt team, COurtney et all and here's to musical New Year.
cheers
ian
ps - the Soundcloud just sequed on to my favourite ROg song of all - "TOTGA" still stunningly awesome. The synth reminds me so much of Stevie Winwoods solo sound (after Traffic and Blind Faith)

ROG,

Great genre mixer! Good sound, and energy. I enjoyed it. Have to give it another listen!

Steve

+1 I liked the lyrics too. "bwoken" LOL!

Josie

ROG

I like ska AND a steel drum solo just adds to the memories of years gone by.
Kim Wilde springs to mind with Courtney's voice and she (Kim) would love to sound like that!!
I thoroughly enjoyed that!

I tried to be clever with not being able to pwonounce my R's in my reply but writing your name stopped me dead in my tracks.

I hope all of you have a good rocking Christmas

Alyn
ps Thanks for the mention.

Very cool song. Love the Calypso. Neat rhythm...

ROG ROG ROG, COURTNEY COURTNEY COURTNEY,

This is awesome!

ROG, you've really shown us all how to use AAA form effectively. It's not a form I'm comfortable with but you've handled it like the pro you are!

Courtney, your singing is fantastic, professional. I really enjoy hearing your voice. It has such a listenable quality to it. And ROG, when I stopped and thought about how you played every one of those instruments I heard, I was left speechless. You have an incredible level of musical ability. I can only imagine what you'd do with BIAB and all the Realtracks!

Seriously: YOU'VE GOT TO GET HOLD OF BIAB/RB AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Ok, I couldn't pass up that 'rhyming scheme' challenge So I'm going to bore you with an analysis. And you're right, it did cause me some confusion (lol!) but I'll talk my way through that. Thank heavens for verse 3, that clarified everything!

Let me explain ...

Let's look at Verse 1. I've adjusted the lines to reflect how it's sung (very creatively by Courtney, I add).



Interestingly, when I first listened to the verse, the rhymes I heard were those in red. The couplet followed by a line that didn't rhyme with it and then a third line that had the same rhyme as the couplet was sweet ear candy!

Next, when I sat down, put on my thinking cap and thought about the rhyme scheme for this verse, other rhymes stood out. Because I didn't initially hear these, though, it made me wonder if maybe these other rhymes were functioning as non-rhyming phrases rather than rhyming lines (hence the 'x' for non-rhyming phrase). Phrases #7 and #10 had three possibilities: an 'a' rhyme or did they start a new 'b' rhyme scheme or were they functioning as non-rhyming 'x'?

Does 'hate' rhyme with 'late'? I didn't hear that as the song played so I'm going to ignore the possibility just to keep things a little simpler.

Also, I heard 'done' rhyme with 'alone'. Although it's only a consonance rhyme - the weakest of all - it definitely felt like a rhyme to me so I included it in the rhyme scheme.

What stood out most to me was that Verse 1 consisted of 11 phrases. Pat Pattison would give a huge round of applause for that. An odd number of phrases is great for enhancing the emotional ooommph of the lyrics. Also, your variation in the metric feet of the phrases is another great emotion-boosting technique.

So Verse 2. Aaaah, now things are starting to become a little clearer.



Finally, Verse 3. Thank goodness for the clarity that this verse brought to the table.



I can safely say that, based on a phrase-by-phrase analysis, your verses are a REALLY cool xxaaxaxbbxb rhyme scheme. To my ears, those other rhymes in verses 1 and 2 that caused some confusion are acting more as inner rhymes rather than the definite end-of-phrase rhyme.

I LOVE the asymmetry of this rhyme scheme. A couplet followed by a single rhyming line to give a 3-rhyme pattern. In addition, the verse essentially exists as a 6-phrase section followed by a 5-phrase section. The rhyming schemes are the same in each section but the second section begins with one less non-rhyming line. How clever is that!!!

When it comes to Pat Pattison's concept of "stable versus unstable", these lyrics showcase the principle impeccably. They are highly unstable and totally support the emotional turmoil the singer is feeling. Prosody rules!

It's a huge pat on the back from me.

All the best,
Noel

ROG

What an interesting mix of styles. When it began, I thought you had gone mariachi on us... then it turned into Men At Work meets Jimmy Buffet done half tempo... (where did the steel drums come from?)

Sounds good - a good mix.

Courtney - great job on the vocals and harmonies!

floyd

Cool tune.... loved the island groove with the steel drums and the rhythms.

I didn't have a problem so much with the rhyme scheme. In a few places I didn't see the rhyme, but the lyrics worked OK and I'm not a stickler for having everything rhyme perfectly anyway.

My crits on this go to the singer's performance. Nothing essentially "wrong" with her voice or performance from that point of view however, I do think the vocal performance would have been greatly improved had this been in a different key. Essentially, this sounds like she is at the bottom of her vocal range. She is not in her "power range" where she sings effortlessly.

I have worked with several female singers over the years, I'm certainly not an expert on recording ladies voices, but I do know that with each one, we worked on finding the perfect key for their voice before we laid tracks.

This song sounds like it could easily come up several whole steps and it would then be in her natural range to the high side and she could but feeling into this tune more easily.

I know that when I write and record something that I sing, it has to be in the "correct and right" key for my voice. If not, it doesn't "work" and that translates through the music to the listeners.

Just my random thoughts.

ROG, The mix sounds great. I love the steel drum break. Nicely produced and recorded. Thanks for posting. Tom

Hi ROG,
Merry Christmas.

Guenter

It’s all been said!

This is a fantastic song with a great rhythm, great lyrics and a super singer!

This took me back to my trip to the Caribbean!

Merry Christmas

I love this Rog. When I first played it I thought "Human League's Mexican Reggae Journey"; that's what it conjured up in my addled brain! Nice vocals, grooves, mix.

John

Hi, Rog !

I really liked this tune !
The nice floating Island
rhytm and Courtneys superb
singing and backing ! :))
Just great Rog !

Cheers and MXmas to you and
the whole team !:))

Dani

Thanks to everyone who took the time to listen.

Ian and Josie - Glad you like "bwoken". I don't know what made me think of it and it certainly caused problems for Courtney trying to sing it without laughing!

Steve - Many thanks. I always like it when people go back for a second listen.

Alyn - This song is all your fault! You made me re-think what I was doing and try something different. Trouble is, I still can't match your level of originality.

Scott - Thanks for the nice comments. Pleased you liked the calypso section.

ROG.

Noel - What a fantastic analysis. I never thought, when I laid down the challenge, that you'd manage anything remotely like that. I think you know more about my songs than I do and it's fascinating to see it all laid out like that. Many thanks.

Floyd - The mix of styles sort of evolved as I was writing this one. It started out as old-school Peter Tosh reggae, but then Herb Alpert's brass turned up and it went a bit Mexican. The steel drums? Even I'm not sure what possessed me at that point. I think I was just competing with Alyn to get your attention!

ROG.

Herb - Thanks for the comments. It's always nice to get a different point of view. One thing you need to remember, though, is that you can't just move a backing to a different key and expect it to work. In this case I would have had to re-write the bass part and alter the chord inversions and I don't think that would have had the effect I wanted.

Courtney could easily sing in this key an octave up and be quite comfortable, but once again, it's not the sound we were after. What we wanted was something more in a spoken voice register. At the end of the day, though, it's all subjective.

ROG.

Tommy, Guenter, Mario, John, Dani.

Many thanks for all the positive comments, guys.

It's always really good when people enjoy things and I'm sure Courtney is pleased by all the praise she's had. It's such a bonus for me, having access to all these great singers.

ROG.

Janice and I love genre bending and genre mashups and, wow, this is an extraordinary one. There's so many cool things happening that I just had to kick back and accept the totality of what's going on. When I did that it just all clicked. This is great. A creative production with a vocal that is so unique in a very positive way. Kudos to all.

very well done "mash-up"!

It was engaging at all levels