Loved it!

I loved the natural organic feel to this. That said, it would probably be perfect as it sets. Me, on the other hand, I would have a look at making some of the lines flow more smoothly, as in a few places it sounds like you're rushing to get all the words into a limited space.

I like that it says what it says in 2:12... that's nearly unheard of these days. A 2 minute song? Brilliant work. I would attempt to make a few small changes to make it flow, like I said, but don't lose the natural feel of it or stretch it out in the process. With some tweeks, this could easily be a contender for a coveted spot in a "chick flick" movie....

Yeah... I like this a lot.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.