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Hi All Who Knows Him Now Hi Guys. The new version has now been uploaded to soundcloud. Thanks for the input. The following changes were made.
1. Got rid of the extra "Who wants to know him" lines
2. Shortened the verse chord structure and changed the last chord to an Am (the lyrics also fit better now)
3. Added a gritty guitar
(I am very pleased that the song now comes out at 3:26 and some change)
Thanks to all who helped with this.This is a song that was written by myself and my good friend Cuzzie while she was visiting me in South Africa. It is written for a TV synch opportunity. They want a song about somebody going on an extended bender. It needs to be submitted by tomorrow (Saturday 17th). I would have loved to have recorded Cuzzie on vocals but unfortunately she is busy travelling home and nowhere near her home studio. Any input on how to improve the song would be much appreciated. Tracks are RealTracks in style: ~701:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 085 RealTracks in song: 1761:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Pop16ths Ev16 085 RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven16^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride 1764 Electric guitar And a midi string track Vocals are all me and BIABettes Lyrics are on soundcloud Thanks in anticipation
Last edited by JosieC; 05/17/14 08:31 AM.
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Hi, Jo !:))
This was truly a sad song
well written and performed
I do not know how you could
or should improve on this one ?
I think it is pretty ready
as it is !:))
It was you harmonizing in
the background then ? :))
Very nice Jo !!:))
Cheers
Dani
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Hi Dani
Thanks for that. Yes it was all me singing and harmonies are me and the BIABettes. Would like to recruit somebody else to sing backup vocals but unfortunately the time is very short on this one
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Hi Josie,
leave it as it is. A very nice song with great vocals.
The harmonies don't sound like Biabettes.
Very well done.
Guenter
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Cool tune... Submit it and forget it. Write more.
Short time frames are generally par for the course in TV & Film. Music tends to be the last thing they add.
If it gets cut, let us know. It's kinda long for tv and film....
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 05/16/14 08:00 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Hi Guenter - Thanks for that
Hi Herb - As you say, I think I will just submit it and then forget it. These opportunties are great for getting the creative juices flowing. I wont hold my breath but also don't have anything to loose. Sometimes you get some feedback from the music pro which is always welcome. Btw, I got some great feedback on one opportunity. They said all the instruments were performed and recorded well...they obviously dont get too many BIAB submissions and I'm not saying...It was a ukelele track. On the length I would have thought they just slice and dice it according to their needs?
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Hi Herb - As you say, I think I will just submit it and then forget it. These opportunties are great for getting the creative juices flowing. I wont hold my breath but also don't have anything to loose. Sometimes you get some feedback from the music pro which is always welcome. Btw, I got some great feedback on one opportunity. They said all the instruments were performed and recorded well...they obviously dont get too many BIAB submissions and I'm not saying...It was a ukelele track. On the length I would have thought they just slice and dice it according to their needs?
I obviously use BB/RB on all my tunes and have never had any complaints about the quality of the music. Matter of fact, I have quite a few tunes that are all BB/RB signed into those libraries..... that's what matters. I'm waiting on a review from another very "high bar" library now on several full songs that I have submitted..... and yup... keep writing in the meantime.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Josie,
I loved everything about this one but the length, but keep in mind I have a thing about songs going over 3.5 minutes lol.
With this said if I were performing it, I would cut back on the "Who Wants to Know Him" phrases. But this is not my song, (I wish it was lol) and I am not performing it, so my suggestion of course is personal to probably my taste only.
I wish you would play it tomorrow on SJ, my bet is it will be well received.
See you tomorrow.
Later,
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Thanks Danny. I was worried about the length. I think I will cut back on the "Who knows him" lines.
Edited to add: Sure I can do this tomorrow on the Jelly. Looking forward to it. I will set my alarm to finally see your show.
Last edited by JosieC; 05/16/14 08:58 AM.
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Josie,
So happy you will do this tomorrow, and bless you for staying up that late tomorrow night. I will be honored to have you in my room.
Later,
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Josie,
I loved everything about this one but the length, but keep in mind I have a thing about songs going over 3.5 minutes lol.
With this said if I were performing it, I would cut back on the "Who Wants to Know Him" phrases. But this is not my song, (I wish it was lol) and I am not performing it, so my suggestion of course is personal to probably my taste only.
I wish you would play it tomorrow on SJ, my bet is it will be well received.
See you tomorrow.
Later, I totally agree with my brother, great song just a tad too long.
Principal: Your child always causes trouble in school.
Me: My child causes trouble at home, do I ever call you?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Hi Josie. Enjoyed it all as is but thought the backing was a bit clean for the subject. Would like a bit more gritty or bluesy bar room sound. Cheers.
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Well, we're too late to suggest anything given the date and the hour....but I think you'll be fine with what you have. Hope it works out well for you!!
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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Really nice song, poignant and powerful! I would reduce the "who knows him now" on all but the last verse. I also think musically the last line in the verses would sit better on the minor chord...you went from major to major a step up and stepped back down. I would step up again to the minor chord. (F G Am, vs F G F). Just a thought. Good work!! Take care. Greg
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Good luck with it Joanne. You and Cuzzy should write more together. You two obviously click. The sound and harmonies are fine imo. If you ever revisit it, I think you've had some good suggestions here.
Josie
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Hi Joanne ...
It's a terrific song ... vocals, lyric, production, instrument selection ...everything.
As far as length, yeah, maybe a bit long. But if it's selected for the opportunity, they can slice and dice it as they please. Rarely is a song used in it's entirety anyway. Hal Ketchum, a popular country singer from a few years back and whom I know very casually, wrote a song for the movie "Everyway But Lose". It's almost three minutes in its entirety. They used only 8 seconds of it and he was paid rather nicely.
Good luck with it. Hope you get selected. It's a super song!
Al & Di
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Hi to everybody who posted on this thread Dani, Guenter, Herb, Danny, Mario, Rich, Bud and Janice, Josie, Greg and Al (did I miss anybody?)
Thanks so much everybody. I still have today to make changes so I am going to try them all out and post a new version later.
You guys are awesome!
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Journeyman
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Joanne:
Good luck with your song. Let us know how it turns out.
John
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Josie, Nice write. The vocals sound really good. It may be a bit long. Overall very nicely done. Keep them coming. Tom
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I haven't listened for awhile, too late for your deadline....
Great song. The melody and the harmonies deliver the message very well. Good tempo. Ya'll should write more songs. Wishing you luck.
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