I listened to both versions and liked 'em both. Tim's version is maybe a little more "contemporary" with a slighter harder edge to it. Yours might need a little more compression to bring it all together a little more, and Tim's might need to work on controlling the drums a bit more (a little "boomy" maybe?).

It is interesting how the mix can make takes sound so different.

Now at bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh @ bandcamp or soundcloud: Kevin @ soundcloud