In the end, your ear will determine which tensions to use. Sometimes you may want to create a certain movement within a group of chords, like for example, what happens in "Wave", where the progression goes from F#13 - F#aug - B9 -B7b9. The note movement is D#-D-C#-C. pretty recognizable in that song.

Depends on what you want to hear, or create. Key is to open up your ears and train them to recognize the different tensions. Then you can create with them.