Originally Posted By: Steve Young
Floyd,

You know I am a fan of your work. You always manage to capture the feelings and emotions behind the songs you write. To me, that's what make a great songwriter. This one is an exceptional example of your abilities. Very dramatic, sad, but true to life for so many people. This one touches my heart. Steve

Steve - I do appreciate that. The best we can hope for is to touch someone's heart...


Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
The song was cool.... well written and a good take on the frustration of many people who see no real future for themselves... nothing but a dreary day in day out same old same old daily existence. I've known many, many people who fit into the lyrics of your song.

This is similar in many aspects to some of Bruce Springsteen's early writing. Use of the accordion, piano, strings..... gritty subject.... I was waiting for the screaming sax solo....(just kidding) This shows a new and interesting direction and aspect to your writing. I like how you are willing to take risks and go into new areas. And not the easiest of areas, might I add. Good stuff.

Thanks, Herb.


Originally Posted By: JimFogle
Very haunting song. It stays with you and makes you think. The sparse instrumentation and use of effects brings out the intimate thoughts behind the song. Your vocal is strong and emotional. Choking is an apt name for the song.

I suggest one lyric changes for consideration. Change "waitress" to "server" or some other non gender specific word. Hearing the female gender specific "I am a waitress" sung by a male voice abruptly breaks the emotional impact of the song.

It's too bad the waitress has never heard this song as I think she would be pleased you captured the moment so well and that her thoughts made such an impression on you.

Jim - Thanks. For me, changing "waitress" would weaken the song - trying to make songs generic is good for some songs, but not for all. The "old man" and the kids require a female point of view to be most effective. I considered having a female vocal, but I actually think this is most effective as is - the same way I think Prine's "Angel From Montgomery" is more effective when he sings it than it is coming from Bonnie Raitt...

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