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Stronger than a garlic milkshake, that one is. I reached
down in my superlative basket and there's nothing good
enough to hang on this one.
I'm not gonna parse out all the wonderful details but I
will say that if someone isn't moved by this then they have
a very serious emotive deficit.
We're gonna add this to our 25 top three fj songs! Bud - I can tell you wrote that! LOL.. from garlic milkshake to emotive deficit... thanks. Magnificent writing Floyd and delivery.
Listening to this, and the harshness and hardship of some folks lives, it was me who was choking.
Superb storytelling - did your "waitress lady" ever hear this?
Wonderful cheers ian Ian - Appreciate that. No, she never heard it. I didn't stay there long... it was a very depressing place to work.. had to move on... My goodness Floyd, what a sad song. I kept hoping for a happy ending.
A definite departure from your usual style.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Right now I'm off to have a whisky to cheer myself up. Joanne - Thanks. Some stories just don't have happy endings.. there was a time when this was my style... you do it enough and you're bound to go through different stages - or find different motives...
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Great job. Enjoyed it a lot. Very pretty. Charlie - thanks... floyd, I used to work alongside this grizzled old cigar chomping ex marine who offhandedly says to me one day...The definition of a pessimist is an optimist with experience. It hit me then that life is a struggle for everyone and it all comes down to attitude as to how well you handle your struggle. This song is a perfect slice of real life staged with a character that most of us might have seen at one time or another. Brilliant writing ! The vocal is close to perfect in delivering the emotion and still telling the story. The phrasing is trademark fj. Piano sounds good. Mix is good. Vocal processing sounds top shelf. Nectar2 has some great presets. As a slice of life song, they don't get any better than this. Great stuff, Tom Tom - certainly appreciate all those nice comments.. There was a time when I mostly wrote slice-of-life songs - I think of it as my "John Prine days"... when I switched gears, I had to stop listening to Prine and Goodman and Newman or else they just kept coming... It's nice to be able to go back to these and get the kind of production to show them off properly. I don't use Nectar much - it did happen to work for this one though....
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I remember the White Horse Pike well. Lola too. We called her Lo-Lo-Lo-La-Lola.  Another keeper. Gonna have to make a 3 CD bootleg this year. Keep em comin' Col. Bob Parker Authentic fj Bootlegs, Inc. 2nd Trailer On The Left Pine Barrens, N.J. C-O-L-A.....cola....  Hi, Floyd !
What a wonderful write !
I am taken by your mastery
of both writing and
delivering your songs !
This is no easy song to sing
but you nailed it completely !
I am amazed !:))
Cheers
Dani Thank you, Dani... you are most kind... Wow Floyd! I envy you guys whom are able to put into words and create a beautiful song like this one. I could never do that, that's one of the many gifts I do not have. I have to be content with being inspired by something and compose an instrumental. Wonderful stuff as usual my friend (if I may call you that).
Mike B. Mike - I do appreciate you stopping by for a listen... indeed, my friend...
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Floyd,
You know I am a fan of your work. You always manage to capture the feelings and emotions behind the songs you write. To me, that's what make a great songwriter. This one is an exceptional example of your abilities. Very dramatic, sad, but true to life for so many people. This one touches my heart.
Steve
Steve Young Music"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann
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Having lived within walking distance of the White Horse Pike and specifically in Lindenwold..... this reminded me of a little Italian place in town where I used to work,,,,, a place called simply "Dom's" by the locals. Great food, good drink, but not for me.... I worked there as a teen, washing dishes and helping in the kitchen which was run by the owner's wife.... a slave driving, clock watching wench if there ever was one.
The song was cool.... well written and a good take on the frustration of many people who see no real future for themselves... nothing but a dreary day in day out same old same old daily existence. I've known many, many people who fit into the lyrics of your song.
This is similar in many aspects to some of Bruce Springsteen's early writing. Use of the accordion, piano, strings..... gritty subject.... I was waiting for the screaming sax solo....(just kidding) This shows a new and interesting direction and aspect to your writing. I like how you are willing to take risks and go into new areas. And not the easiest of areas, might I add. Good stuff.
Brandy Clark..... the word "amazing" is simply insufficient to describe her writing. At a recent (last month) NSAI songwriter's meeting.... one of the better writers in the group came up to me and we talked for some time about the songs we had presented and music and writing in general. The conversation spilled out the door and into the parking lot as the staff were closing and locking the doors for the evening. He handed me a CD and told me to listen to "the girl at the end" of the home made cd. It was Brandy. I think it's about half of her album. To say I'm blown away by the writing on that disk would be an understatement. Wow.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Very haunting song. It stays with you and makes you think. The sparse instrumentation and use of effects brings out the intimate thoughts behind the song. Your vocal is strong and emotional. Choking is an apt name for the song.
I suggest one lyric changes for consideration. Change "waitress" to "server" or some other non gender specific word. Hearing the female gender specific "I am a waitress" sung by a male voice abruptly breaks the emotional impact of the song.
It's too bad the waitress has never heard this song as I think she would be pleased you captured the moment so well and that her thoughts made such an impression on you.
Jim Fogle - 2025 BiaB (Build 1128) RB (Build 5) - Ultra+ PAK DAWs: Cakewalk Sonar - Standalone: Zoom MRS-8 Laptop: i3 Win 10, 8GB ram 500GB HDD Desktop: i7 Win 11, 12GB ram 256GB SSD, 4 TB HDD Music at: https://fogle622.wix.com/fogle622-audio-home
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Floyd,
You know I am a fan of your work. You always manage to capture the feelings and emotions behind the songs you write. To me, that's what make a great songwriter. This one is an exceptional example of your abilities. Very dramatic, sad, but true to life for so many people. This one touches my heart. Steve Steve - I do appreciate that. The best we can hope for is to touch someone's heart... The song was cool.... well written and a good take on the frustration of many people who see no real future for themselves... nothing but a dreary day in day out same old same old daily existence. I've known many, many people who fit into the lyrics of your song.
This is similar in many aspects to some of Bruce Springsteen's early writing. Use of the accordion, piano, strings..... gritty subject.... I was waiting for the screaming sax solo....(just kidding) This shows a new and interesting direction and aspect to your writing. I like how you are willing to take risks and go into new areas. And not the easiest of areas, might I add. Good stuff.
Thanks, Herb. Very haunting song. It stays with you and makes you think. The sparse instrumentation and use of effects brings out the intimate thoughts behind the song. Your vocal is strong and emotional. Choking is an apt name for the song.
I suggest one lyric changes for consideration. Change "waitress" to "server" or some other non gender specific word. Hearing the female gender specific "I am a waitress" sung by a male voice abruptly breaks the emotional impact of the song.
It's too bad the waitress has never heard this song as I think she would be pleased you captured the moment so well and that her thoughts made such an impression on you. Jim - Thanks. For me, changing "waitress" would weaken the song - trying to make songs generic is good for some songs, but not for all. The "old man" and the kids require a female point of view to be most effective. I considered having a female vocal, but I actually think this is most effective as is - the same way I think Prine's "Angel From Montgomery" is more effective when he sings it than it is coming from Bonnie Raitt...
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What can I say, Floyd ... nice music, very pleasing, and a story well told with a great vocal performance! VERY nice!
Cheers, Mike My Music * Asus ROG Strix G15CF 32 GB DDR4 4TB HDD + 1 TB SSD NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3060 8GB Win 11 AKAI EIE PRO Sound Interface. BIAB/RB 2024 UltraPak Build - Latest
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Hi Floyd ...
Poignant yet pretty. That was a wonderful listen. I think A lot of people feel kind of like this in their own way. Beautiful arrangement. and your typically wonderful vocals. what a fabulous listen!
When I (Alan) lived in San Antonio, Texas in the 1970's, I used to eat at the Steak & Ale about half a mile from my house. And, I wonder how many folks remember Kents!?
Simply splendid!
Alan & Di
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What has not been said already. Really nice painting of a story. Excellent choice of backing. And bring instruments in and out, like the accordion for example. Excellent delivery and phrasing. And...what the rest said too.
-Patrick
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Yea, this is some fine story telling and a wonderful performance. Sometimes you just gotta write a real life true story and to heck with trying to make it all look pretty.
I haven't tried to use any of the super-midi stuff (I don't think I got any of the sampletank stuff working yet). I might have to work on that a bit.
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