Hi Richard,

Very creative! I really like the abaab rhyme scheme you've used in the verses. It's an excellent choice of rhyme pattern if you want to keep the words moving until the last line of a verse. To my ears, the rhyme closures along the journey act as the equivalent of commas and it's not until the final 'b' rhyme that everything sounds complete.

Robert Frost (a highly recognised American poet) used the same rhyme scheme in "The Road Not Taken". Here's a LINK to his poem if you are interested in having a read.

I enjoyed the story!

All the best,
Noel

Last edited by Noel96; 07/26/14 09:06 PM. Reason: update link to a complete version of Frost's poem

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