Hi Janice and Bud,

Now that was worth the listen! Janice's silky vocals, Tommy's V8 guitar work and Bud's ability to wield the musical scalpel and cut and stitch RTs with the precision of a consultant surgeon - what a team!

I have to say, I was captivated by the above interchange regarding lyrics. Most interesting. I thought I'd jump in and share my perspective ...

For what it's worth, "pocket / ticket" is a legitimate type of rhyme. It's what Berklee College refer to as a consonant rhyme (that is, the "-ket" sound where both the "k" and the "t" are consonants common to both words; that's a clever one, Bud, because many consonance rhymes only use a single consonant and not two).

Below is a link to a song written by Gary Burr and sung by Tim McGraw that uses the "n" consonant rhyme (as the only rhyme) in the first and third A-section with "one / gone" and then in the reprise of the third A-section with "undone / gone". Because consonance is the weakest type of rhyme, its use leaves a feeling of lack of resolution. This is perfect for enhancing mood and emotion. Gary Burr uses consonance very effectively in the below song to reflect the dawning sense of loss that the song's character is experiencing.



Steve Seskin and Allen Shamblin also use a really unusual rhyme in "Don't Laugh at Me". In the chorus, they rhyme "wings" with "me" in the spotlight position of the last line. The pronounced lack of resolution that this rhyme creates, amplifies the song's emotion and boosts meaning greatly. I believe that this song made it to number one a couple of times (Peter, Paul and Mary; Mark Wills). Below is a link to Mark Wills' version.



Steve Sekin is also a great user of weak syllable rhymes. (I notice that Bud's and Janice's use of "bigger / dreamer", "down / woman", are consonant rhymes that involve at least one weak syllable and "quickly / honestly" is a perfect rhyme that involves weak syllables.) In the first two lines of "Grown Men Don't Cry", Steve Seskin and Tom Douglas use the weak-syllable, consonant "er" sound and rhyme "center" with "mother". To my ears this rhyme really establishes the emotional context for the whole lyric that follows. It's a lyric writing master-stroke. I believe that this song also became a number one hit.



My view is that it's only by playing around and developing a feel for these unusual lyric rhyme-types, and how they impact on lyric motion and emotion, that one gains an understanding of how to use them effectively. With my own lyrics, I often try a number of different types of rhyme and try to gauge how they "feel" in relation to the emotions I'm trying to convey. (I'm still a novice but I have lots of fun playing around.)

Quote:
For example ...

[ORIGINAL]
Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go


Let's try the last line using a weak syllable rhyme ...

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to follow

While the weak syllable rhyme still works, there's less of a sense of closure.


What about a consonant rhyme ...

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white as frost
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was like a ghost

When I read through the above, the consonant rhyme provides a sonic relationship but it leaves me dangling waiting for more.


Maybe weak syllable perfect rhyme ...

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white as winter
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to wander

Again, there's a sonic relationship between "winter / wander" but, as a far as lyric movement goes, it leaves me expecting more.

et cetera ...



Overall, any rhyme type that doesn't offer the full sense of closure found with perfect rhymes leaves a listener in a disquieted state of mind. The degree of disquietedness depends on the rhyme type. The net result of this uneasiness of mind is that it adds to a lyric's emotional impact.

I find lyric movement, and how it can be used strategically to impact directly on the feelings of a listener, a really fascinating subject. I hope that the above thoughts offer another perspective on lyric writing and how it's possible to use non-standard types of rhyme to enhance the emotional power of lyrics.

Regards,
Noel

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