|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,831
Expert
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,831 |
This me and my guitar. I'm kind of stumped and thought I would ask for song style and, or a simple instrument suggestion for this song from anybody who might be interested. It might be fun to see what direction some of you would take this song. It is dedicated to my brother who suffers with Autism spectrum disorder (ADS). https://soundcloud.com/lawrence-olivier/too-close-to-the-moon-liveToo Close To The Moon (2010) Brother what you gonna do When they really do come after you Your hand print on the window pane You paced that floor and wore it through Do you remember a time when we were brothers Do you remember the things we used to do We thought we mighta got too close to the fire But we musta’ been too close to the moon There came a time when I couldn’t talk to you And nobody seemed to know what was wrong with you Paw called the law and tried to ease our pain You were beat down and bloody when they were through Do you remember the time you brought that stray dog home Through country side you and that dog would roam We worried about you getting’ too close to the fire But it looks like you were too close to the moon Now you carry on most days like a lunatic And sometimes I just laugh at the thought of it But at night I pray to god and science That somehow they might pull you out of this Do you remember a time when we were brothers Do you remember the things we used to do Maybe I got too close to the fire But somehow you got too close to the moon
Last edited by gruverider; 08/23/14 01:34 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,791
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,791 |
Wow, Lawrence. Powerful writing. I hear this a little slower - maybe a lot slower. With Randy Newman playing the piano for you. And his still of simple orchestration.. Unfortunately, there aren't any Newman piano ballad RTs (wouldn't THAT be nice)... it is, however, the feel I tried to get for "Choking" - you might take a look at that combination of RTs... http://www.pgmusic.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=253410#Post253410
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,956
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,956 |
Hi Lawrence, That's an amazing story and an outstanding song - singer/songwriting at its very very best! A style that might provide a starting place is _CMPFBF2.STY. This uses RTs 364 and 368. To my mind, though, your own guitar work with maybe a BIAB simple drum backing is all that's needed To my ears, I hear something styled similarly to the below version of Craig Bickhardt's "This Old House". (Arrangements don't get much less cluttered than this.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJOB2J_hwDUAlthough, the feel is not what you're wanting, the below song also uses a sparse arrangement that might open up ideas for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMln5JV6n34Lastly, another instrumental line-up might be something like below. (The sound quality isn't great but I think you'll get the idea. It's also Craig Bickhardt.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtjUGcMSZRY&list=PLmphFMNofsFUf9hX9C2681vYTnHpDy4Y5Like floyd, I reckon simplicity in arrangement is the key to maximising the strength of this song. Begin with a single guitar, add simple drums, add second guitar, end with single guitar (at least that's what my initial plan of attack would be). Just my tuppence worth! Noel P.S. Here's another sparse arrangement idea. Willy DeVille singing "Let It Be Me" - very soulful! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bC8iYBlZ7g
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 6,930
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 6,930 |
Beautiful song!! Like the others, I agree sparse is best. If I were you I would try acoustic guitar, bass, and cello. Another possibility is the California Piano on BIAB. It is really pretty but it may be too busy or the tempo might not work. I actually found that the pedal steel goes really nicely with the California piano. Just some thoughts. The song is definitely worth doing right. Great stuff!! Take care. Greg
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,063
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,063 |
My 2 cents. Keep it singer-songwriter with the acoustic guitar. Add some percussion, not a whole drum kit. Try a violin that weaves in and out. I would say cello but for your voice a higher range instrument might compliment it better - you'll have to experiment to hear. I'd love to say flute but I don't believe we have any flute RTs that would work. BTW, I haven't tried David's user track flute yet so I don't know how it sounds.
Or similar to FJ's suggestion you could slow it down 5-10bpm, use one of the HIQ piano midi style tracks then add an orchestral string section behind you. If you have good sounds the HIQ midi tracks can sound great.
Josie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,079
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,079 |
Lawrence,
WOW!!
If it needs any additions then some strings weaving in and out as Sundance says. for example on the pickin' intro and 1.52 to 2.11 and then the outro 2.56 to 3.18
BUT I really like the arrangement as it is now and my addition would be a simple one note harmony, the root of the chord that is under the word moon and fire, on the words "too close to the fire" and "too close to the moon"
I say WOW again because that song is beautiful.
Alyn
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,888
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,888 |
Hi Lawrence,
I already like the song as it is.
Great story, great writing and singing.
Looking forward to what comes out of it.
Guenter
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646 |
Beautiful song, sounds great on this end as is, If you are going to add anything I would go with some of the others that you could use strings, I think one of the styles with a soft fiddle playing during the chorus for emphasis would work. The cello in Biab would probably fit this one amazingly. Whatever you do be sure to repost with the finished version. thanks for sharing!
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,719
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,719 |
Hi Laurence. Love this. I would make it less folky. More dramatic. More Kris Kristofferson.
Just simple bass plenty of long notes ( or maybe the cello instead) no drums and minimal rhythm guitar.
No leads just the vocal. A tad slower.
Cheers.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,407
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,407 |
Personally, I would look in the bluegrass/country styles.
I would tend towards the acoustic styles, keep it sparse, and no drums.
Perhaps a cello or a fiddle real track edited in tastefully for effect and an acoustic, stand up bass that comes in a bit further into the song..... maybe on the first chorus or the second verse.
That song..... done properly, and mastered, could easily be used in film & TV. It's the kind of melancholy and dark music that gets used as the ending song in shows like the Walking Dead and so many others.
You have a piece of magic in your hands with that song.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,477
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,477 |
Hi, Lawrence !
I´d go with those who
suggested the sparsest
accompaniment, in fact
I think you and your nice
fingerpickin´is more than
sufficient, in fact very
good !:))
Cheers
Dani
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,188
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,188 |
The lyric really has meaning for me as I spent part of my career working with people with autism. The overt aspects and the subtleties/ mysteries of it are manifest in your lyric. Very powerful. I like both the ideas of string and/or piano. No real leads just longish note background. I on e used only an acoustic bass, cello and fiddle (all RTs) on a tune and it seemed to work. Wherever you take it it will be strong.
Bud
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 8,116
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 8,116 |
Amazing song. I agree with all the others that you have really something special here. I agree that sparse music suits best. A bit slower tempo and add a 12 string and a cello to keep the flow moving and building.
I look forward to how you decide to finish this one.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,139
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,139 |
I wouldn't change a single thing. Tempo, instruments, nothing.
This is perfect as is. Any additions would diminish it's power. It is a very powerful song.
Regards,
Bob
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 10,150
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 10,150 |
Very moving and touching song. I listened to it several times thinking about what I'd do different and came up with, not much. I like the pattern you play but it needs to be more consistent in places as it drops out. The singing is as wistful as at can be so I'd be very careful what I'd do there because there's no place to go but backwards. Mostly I would try adding some faint delay to the vocal in places as I think sparsely used faint echoes on just the tail of some words would heighten the feeling of seperation.
I would use the string quartet Realtracks only behind the verse about your brother and the police. I would add some windchime tinkling loops in the places where you sing about being brothers and have a windchime glissendo at the end (once brothers, always brothers).
Long, substained piano bass notes would work well underneath this song.
Jim Fogle - 2024 BiaB (1111) RB (5) Ultra+ PAK DAWs: Cakewalk by BandLab (CbB) - Standalone: Zoom MRS-8 Laptop: i3 Win 10, 8GB ram 500GB HDD Desktop: i7 Win 11, 12GB ram 256GB SSD, 4 TB HDD Music at: https://fogle622.wix.com/fogle622-audio-home
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,831
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,831 |
Thank you to all for the suggestions. I see a lot of consensus on strings and keeping it simple.
I will try some of your ideas over the next week and see what happens.
When I'm done I will post the new version.
Thank you again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Italian for Windows is Here!
Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!
Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 et bien plus encore!
Tous Packages | Nouvelles Fonctionnalités
Video: Making a Song with Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V
Take your Band-in-a-Box® project to a whole new level when you incorporate ChatGPT and Synth V to add lyrics and vocals to your song!
We wanted to demonstrate how this is done with our video, where we show you how to go from nothing to a finished "radio ready" modern pop song by combining the features of Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V!
Listen to the finished song, so you get a listen to the finished product: https://demos.pgmusic.com/misc/behindthefame.m4a
If you like it, watch the video. Either way, let's hear your comments!
Henry Clarke: Revolutionize Your Band-in-Box® Tracks with Regenerating Function
User Video: Next-Level AI Music Editing with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums66
Topics81,941
Posts739,175
Members38,624
| |
Most Online2,537
Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean