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WE'RE RETIRING THIS ONE FROM THE CATALOG, SO NO MORE COMMENTS ARE NECESSARY. THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE LEFT A FEW WORDS FOR US!Hi Everyone. We started this song a couple of years ago but have never got it "finished". We posted it on Soundclick back in 2012, but we've never been happy with it. We did it on a dare ...someone said something to the gist of "You guys do a great job on all that Jazz and Blues stuff, but I'll bet you can't write and perform a Euro-Rock piece!" Well, we're not ones to back down from a musical challenge! Here's where we need help ... the chorus sounds to bare ...not enough something. It falls flat of excitement and "oomph"! We're relatively happy with the verses, but open to suggestions there, too. It's a work-in-progress, so all is on the table. It's not a genre we've ever approached before ... this is our first and only effort in this style. I'm thinking we probably need to leave it alone after this is as good as we can get it! One more thing ... we attempted to add more to the short musical break but decided to leave it as is ... nothing really sounded right after half a day of sampling dozens of BIAB tracks. Thanks in advance!!! Di and Al File:Di - The Lap Of Luxury.MGU Key=Em , Tempo 135, Length (m:s)=2:52 8 bar intro, 85 bar chorus, from bar 9 to bar 93. Repeat x1 chorus Melody has 594 notes, Melody harmony is < no harmony >(0) Soloist track has 268 notes, Soloist harmony is < no harmony >(0) Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Song is saved with bar changes for Volume Changes, Style is EVERYONE.STY (Everyone -Brit 80s ev.8ths Rock) Style MIDI Instruments are : Syn Bass 1 (39), Pizzicato Strings (46), 82/2 Lead 2b (saw + pulse), GM2 Bank 2, RealTracks in song: 803:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm DrivingCountryBalladClean Ev 065 RealTracks in song: 1265:Synth Pad, PopShiningSoft Ev 120 RealDrums in Song: PopAmericanEv^3-a:SdStkBB, b:SnrBB ******************* The Lap Of Luxury ------__> http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11971979The Lap Of Luxury (c) 2012 Alan D. David, BMI / Diana Bowers, BMI (v1) Way too much, is not enough No such thing, as too much stuff Give me more, of everything Rodeo Drive for all my bling (v2) Too much this, too much that Living large, living phat Got a place in Malibu Tennis court with an ocean view CHORUS Shop the net, shop the mall Everything both big and small I'm loving what money buys for me Prada shoes, Gucci bag Gotta Porsche, gotta Jag Living in the lap of luxury (v3) Credit cards, of course they're gold Cancun bound, when it gets cold Love my place in gay Paree Sand 'tween my toes at Waikiki (v4) Beauty Shop, every week False eyelashes, long and sleek Closet filled with Calvin Klein Don't owe nobody yeah it's all mine REPEAT CHORUS INSTRUMENTAL VERSE (v5) Diamonds shine, on my hands Nothing less, my taste demands Spoiled rotten, you bet I am I don't care I don't give a damn REPEAT CHORUS x2 TAG Living in the lap of luxury
Last edited by Al-David; 10/08/14 01:51 AM.
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This is a nice job and a big jump from what I normally expect from you guys. Good job. You're not one to shy away from a challenge. ' I'm certainly no expert in this genre but I see what you're saying about the chorus. I suggest you review some of Rob & Anne-Marie's songs and comments. Here is something Rob shared with me about how he varies between verse and chorus in one of his recent submissions "Amanda" Hi Charlie,
Thanks! Yes, there is quite some contrast between the verse and chorus.
This is quite intentional, trying to create some dynamics in the song.
The backing vocal by the way is my own.
The song was created with the melodist. I liked the verse chords, but the chorus sequence wasn't all that convincing to me. One of the 'tricks' I find to work quite well is to select the verse chords and transpose them with 3 semitones. You then get a chorus that is higher pitched while it still fits the song.
Lots of Italian songs back in the 80s and 90s (artists like Cocciante for instance) had this very same principle. Not a real chorus, but merely a transposed verse.
The melodist in BIAB actually more or less works on the same principle, I think.
Regards,
Rob
Last edited by c_fogle; 10/06/14 06:05 AM.
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Alan and Di...
You've got a good start on this. I think you just need to consider the style and how these type songs are typically mixed.
Your vocals are too "crisp" (this is, of course, one of those JMO.. I'm certainly no expert on this style...). You have them mixed like a Country or Pop song, not like a dance song. Think about when you hear a dance song. Typically, you hear the beat and the rhythm LONG before you ever know what the words are (except for the hook). The vocals in a dance song are much more "tucked into the mix" - pretty much on par with the rhythm of the instruments - just one more instrumental track in a way...
I know you aren't afraid to experiment a little. Here is the perfect opportunity to really "go wild" on a vocal track. Add some reverb. Add some delay - a bunch! - maybe with some echo or slap back. Get it to be part of the sound flow. And process the background vocals - a bunch! Make copies of them and try some different effects - maybe a megaphone or telephone effect - a wah, maybe... it could help to give your chorus the sparkle you are looking for... Heck... try the Cher Autotune thing - you never know... run them through the harmonizer and actually use the robot effect that happens... (just ideas)
One other thing... you might try adding some pads to the chorus - seems to me that is what is missing there. You might try adding a high guitar on top of that for a little extra flavor (1570:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Soul60sHighBackBeat Ev 110 - something like that).
Just some ideas. Have fun with this. Go crazy!
floyd
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Hi Di and Alan,
the verse reminds me too much of "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurhythmics. I think you should get rid of this resemblance first.
I'm looking forward to what comes out.
Guenter
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Alan and Di, This is quite a departure for you. I also hear some Eurhythmics here. And Di you can really sing. I like some of the suggestions that floyd made and would love to hear a reworked version. Tom
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Hi Di and Alan,
Certainly captures the 80s Electro-Rock feel, but I agree that it's too close for comfort to "Sweet Dreams". I suspect you'd find a "Third Party Match" if you tried to post on YouTube.
If you can keep the basic feel, but move the chords and melody around a bit, you've got a good sound.
ROG.
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Hi Everyone!
Di and I had never heard "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics. We listened to a dozen, or so, songs in the genre before we did this one but that was not one of the ones we listened to. We agree with the comments that it sounds a lot like that song. The last thing we want is to suggest plagarism. Thus, we're going to let this one fade away.
It's not a genre we listen to and had no idea it was so similar to that song. We're gonna take it down from Soundclick and put it away. But, by listening to that song by The Eurythmics, it gave us lots of ideas for writing something in this genre if we decide to at a later date.
But thanks so much to everyone for offering your suggestions on this. Wishing you the best ...
Alan & Di
Last edited by Al-David; 10/07/14 08:55 PM.
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