David,

I like it! Cool lyric - a couple of places that are a bit "too poetic" for my usual tastes (just a couple of places), but for this, I think they work. And an excellent melody. It falls on the ear nicely!

I did not mind the "non-real" voices - they are impressive, considering. This is worth a good, real vocal, though.

I like your arrangement. The drums are just a wee bit low, I think. Not that they should dominate (for this), but they have a "timid" feel - that ought to be eliminated.

I also thought an extra guitar would help fill it out just a bit in the middle. A clean arp electric RT. Subtle. Maybe the Dreamy guitar - it gets overused, but might be just the thing for this...

Again... I like it.

floyd

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