Hi, Pat! I know I speak for everyone when I say "It is SO nice to have you back in the Showcase on a regular basis!" Your song/performance assessments are interesting, insightful and thought provoking.

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1) for some reason I PARTICULARLY like your lyrics to this song! I mean, I ALWAYS like your lyrics, but the rhyme and meter of these words works very well for me. And the story is very simply stated and masterfully delivered. Also, the alliteration was very effective as used. By that I mean that it ADDED to the mood of the song, it didn't come across as just as a song-writing device you read about and wanted to use in a project.

Thanks for all that. All of these things are important to me. And it is very important to be able to do them without the "effort" being obvious. A lot of what passes for "clever songwriting" is too obvoius - meaning, you "see the writer writing". That should not happen (unless you are writing those overly-clever songs intentionally - Tom Lehrer, for example).

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2) your use of the strat with very wet effects created a haunting and powerful motif in the background. I can see that being the identifying signature sound in the song when radio stations ask their listeners to identify your song from a sound byte.

3) Also by using something of your own as a key element in the composition, you instantly plow a whole new field . It is clearly NOT a combination of the same RTs the rest of us are using. It's new, different and therefore especially exciting.

4) in fact, I think the most original-sounding songs use BIAB for the rhythm parts (which always tend to be generic, even on pro songs... there are only so many ways you can strum a chord) then use your own signature passages for solos and decorations. Surprising how a few played tracks can make the whole song your own.

You can find phrases within the RTs that you can use throughtout a song as a signature lick but you have to "do the work required" to paste it in appropriate places (and dig it out in the first place). So it is easier if you can play something. In this case, I wasn't going for a "lick" as much as a "sound". I am a big fan of Lee Brice's "Hard2Love" CD - both the songwriting and the production - and they use delayed guitars in this manner in several songs. I've been wanting to try that and this seemed like a good song for it.

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6) The whole song developed a situation of futility which introduced tension, and subsequently the urge to "do something, anything, just fix this mess of a life"; but for me, the song progressed faster than my emotions could keep up. The strategic pause at the end provided just enough time for the emotional payload to finish "downloading"... then you provided the resolution. If that was your plan, it worked nicely. (Even if it WASN'T your plan, it worked nicely.)

Age-old formula. Problem-tension/chaos-resolution. Short stories, novels, TV show, song...

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7) I sincerely hope that the devil never approaches me with a deal in which he gets my soul in exchange for a few months of being able to do what you do.. because I'd probably go for it.

Pssst....hey...buddy...got a deal for ya...



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After listening several more times, I have two more observations to make:

1) at the 1:37 marker, you introduce another guitar briefly. It's the only place in the song you use it, and IMO, it isn't necessary. What you're already doing at that part is working very well, and after a few listens the changeup instrument started to become distracting, diverting my attention away from the interesting state of melancholy you had been luring my mind into.

I don't generally "plan" a lead section (just find a flashy Brent part!), but here, I sort of did. I wanted it to reflect the overall theme problem-tension-resolution. So I began it with the "sound" - similar to the opening (things as they had been) - brought in the banjo (tension developing) and finished with a "strong" guitar (the distorted one - I played that as well) as the "resolution" (it is intended to fit over the "sound"). I liked the result. And I'm fine with opposing views... I think the section with the 2nd guitar part removed is boring - see for yourself (below)....

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2) at the end of the song, It might be interesting to hear a version in which you simply end the instrumental accompaniment when the final words are spoken (as opposed to coming back in to complete the logical progression.)

I think that would have the effect of leaving the song unresolved, which ending would be consistent with the disconcerting mood of the rest of the song.

I had that thought at one point, but rejected it (quickly). It is a very effective technique, but can easily sound "gimmicky" - and I think in this case it would. Her "drive away" is not just an end. It is a new beginning...

Just for you... I have done another mix - it's at the bottom of the song page below the lyric. I removed the second guitar in the lead section and removed all the instruments at the end. It's not a "careful" mix (there ought to be some "instrument ring" if it were done right) but it gives the idea... a bit over-dramatic, I think, and, therefore...gimmicky...
http://floydjane.com/Songs/Everything.htm

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