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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,040
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,040 |
I like how the song thins out and ends on the dominant rather than the tonic. Unexpected.
SD
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 57
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OP
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Thanks for your comments, the ending was not as planned but it seemed to work.
Thanks again.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 8,075
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Posts: 8,075 |
Nice song Roy! A lot to like there, as Bob said.
I thought it was mixed very clearly, great use of real tracks, and your voice is quite good! In fact, your voice is SO dang good, I find myself wondering why you would use a harmony plug when you could clearly NAIL the harmony yourself, and it would sound totally authentic, with no artifacts.
But, part of what's cool about writing songs is that each artist gats to make all the creative control decisions. (And I support that 100%)
I listened to some of your other songs too when this one was over... you have some good stuff! Keep it coming!
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,279
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Thank you for your thoughts and comments. I don't know where the song came from really, I tend to write words and then fit the music to them, this is a bit repetitive, it must have been a late night session, and my lyrics don't always have a background meaning, they just appear sometimes.
Thanks again for taking the time to listen, really appreciated. great insight to your creative process..... now, you can leave it as is or you can do the hard work and do a rewrite of this song.....starting from where it is currently. The rewrite gives you the opportunity to "fix" the lyrics and give this some thought and direction. The key to writing a great song is all in the rewriting process. Take the "lyrics that just appear" and ponder on them and write a better line, swap them around, use them in a more effective way, find new rhymes that work and take the lyric in new directions..... you now have the time to set and do this, unlike that first writing session where you needed to get the thoughts written down lest they be lost. You do not have to throw this version away... let it set on the proverbial shelf while you deconstruct and reconstruct the song.....if you like ver 2 better.... move forward but if ver2 is not as good simply delete it and keep ver 1..... Nothing that you hear from me is a first draft.... well I should probably say rarely... rarely will you hear something from me that is a first draft. Most often it's been rewritten and reworked numerous times. Words tweaked, phrases removed or added, verses swapped around, choruses deleted and rewritten..... all before the recording starts in earnest. additional thoughts and musings from me.....
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 5,083
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I really enjoyed this a lot. That mic fits your voice like a glove. Sounds great. Catchy song and cool arrangement.
Herb has given you some solid songwriting advice. However, I must add that a lot of songs today have a ton of repetition. So I'm assuming you listen to those genres of music which is bound to influence your writing.
Josie
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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