For what its worth i felt this way too after three lessons with my guy. Yes he was right about everything, but I could widdle a few tunes, I knew my theory.
It was some uyears ago. I decided to first just count everything until it was internalised, Everything meaning all my car radio, utube, everything until I knew exactly what bar and beat I was on, in my sleep. I then started taking whole notes (semibreves) through tunes, on root, then fifth, then third. I then took two notes from the chord, and so forth.
I resolved never, ever to widdle again.
I need to understand every note I play
I still remember the pain it was like someone stealing your girlfriend

Z