Thanks, Herb! I'm stoked you think this ditty's cool.

To some of your points:
60-ish Psychedelic Solo
Yeah, and now a few others have commented similarly on the psychedelic solo. The consensus so far seems to be that it captures the overall mood/theme. I'm very pleased with it and am glad others agree. I am seldom very pleased with anything I create, but there are the occasional exceptions.

Mix too dark: I agree. See below where I had mentioned "mud removal".

Vocal track hard to hear: I'm not sure about that one; I'll be considering it, though, thank you. Where I'm at now is that I like where the vocals sit in the mix and I think the issue is probably more that since the vocals are sung very quickly (as needed to fit the time) my enunciation gets a bit "approximated" in the crunch, if you know what I mean.

Info about the making of the tracks: (in the initial post I had written what follows this comment; I'm not sure if you caught this stuff yet, but it seems you may not have so I've taken the liberty of reposting it here.)

All performances are by yours truly, but for the drum track which was taken from my Yamaha DD55 drum machine.

Vocals were recorded with the much maligned AKG c3000 condensor mic

the Fender Jazz Bass was sent Direct In (DI=no amp) through a Korg AX1G using a factory stereo phase-shifter/amp sim effect.

The super simple keyboard coloration was through a Yamaha DGX portable Grand. (addendum:) also DI.

The lead solo passage and additional coloration was provided by a Korean-made Fender Squire II Strat, sent direct in using a factory pitch shift/amp sim effect.

recorded with Focusrite Saffire Pro 24 DSP and Reaper. I think it could use a little "mud remover" EQ, but I'm not about to change the Soundcloud file just to upgrade it to that extent, I'll wait until there a more finished version. As I finish it I'll probably change the arrangement to have only one chorus after the first verse and then two after the lead passage, and then come in again at the end but with a modulation (key change).

Thanks for the well wishes and encouragment, much appreciated! -Eric